Esprit de l'escalier

The power went out this morning…so off to class I went with wet hair in the freezing cold. It was kind of fun. I mean, I had a great excuse to put my hair in a pony tail. (For those of you who don’t know…my roommate has made it her life’s ambition to never let me have my hair in a pony tail more than once a week…I will elaborate on this later.)
So I have been told to be careful about walking around with wet hair because apparently guys think that’s extremely ‘attractive’? I dunno…I didn’t hang around to listen to the conversation. I don’t really want to know what guys think is sexy, because I’ve seen what that kind of knowledge does to a girl. They become even more self-conscious and overly concerned with accessories and products. Not to mention they start spending way too much money. I prefer to be in the dark on such matters; well, except the given facts…such as what is modest. Which begs the question: Does a girl still have ‘power’ if she’s not sexy? hmmmm, interesting thought. I know what I think…but what do you think?
Anyhow, I’ve got some really exciting work opportunities in my future. If anything else, they seem like fun jobs…well, they’re not really jobs because I’m not really getting paid…but, whatever. After a really fun interview with the staff of KSPU, I think I’d like to get involved with the station. I really like the attitude of the people and I think it would look really good on a resume…not to mention the fact that it is still within my field of study. This could be an opportunity to do what I’m good at and help people out. Praise the Lord!
Once again, I am anxiously awaiting the new adventures that lay ahead.

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I just finished reading about Rahab last night and the ending nearly brought me to tears. God comforted me once again by teaching me a lesson I’d already known for so long. Rahab had soooo much faith! But what made her more amazing was her incredible confidence and steady patience. She followed an invisible guide and she stuck to her guns without shame. Her focus was unwavering. I admire her in so many ways despite her past. But what really got me was the ending of her story…
in short, Rahab left her family and determined to follow God’s family in hopes of becoming one of His children. She camped out nearby and stayed there for days until finally Joshua let Salamon go see her. She was patient and confident in what she needed to do. And the Lord blessed her with a marvelous husband. He fought for her! That’s what got me. Salamon was patient and confident in the fact that he knew the Lord had chosen Rahab to be one of His own. And when Rahab turned down Salamon’s proposal (because she felt she wasn’t worthy of such a blessing), he persisted and pronounced his love for her. It was soooo beautiful! You girls should definitly read Francine Rivers women of the Bible series. I highly recommend it.

Ok, here’s the elite update. Jared met with my parents thursday night. He said it was because he wanted to get to know them better. So he met up with them and they had pizza together and talked about me! Good grief! Does anyone else see a pattern forming here?! Anyhow, I’m past it. So right after he gets home…he calls me and reads me these really really sweet letters that he had written a few days before after talking to me, but that he didn’t mail. Oh my goodness, this boy can write! (hence the reason he’s an english major I think, haha). Anyhow, in those letters he said a gazillion times that he liked me quite a bit but then he would always follow it up with a disclaimer. Something like, I know I don’t have much, but I am willing to give you whatever God has blessed me with. Or something like, I know there are tons of other guys out there…you know? Like he just didn’t sound very confident in himself. So I told him that he had to tell me five good things that he liked about himself. I think by the end of the conversation I had only gotten him to say three real ones…the rest of the time he talked himself out of having to answer. haha, sneaky. All in all, he said the evening went very well and he left feeling confident. But when I talked to my mom, she said a lot of the same things he had said about their conversation, but she also said that she thinks I shouldn’t wait around for him. He keeps saying that he wants to wait until he has everything in place before trying to pursue anything…but my parents kept telling him that things aren’t ever going to be just perfect and that if he waited for something like that…he’d be waiting around forever. I dunno what to make of the situation. After talking to my mom I was left with the feeling that I had done all the work to get the relationship to the point it’s at right now. I don’t feel like he really fought for me at all. I’ve always been told that you should let a guy fight for you so that you know for sure that he really wants you. Now, more than ever, I’m understanding that concept. But, on another note, he said that he sent a letter to me that would explain exactly how he felt. So now I am waiting…and waiting…again. haha. Go figure? So that’s just the skinny of it…I don’t think this is the end…obviously. But you know what I mean.
Like I was telling Loreanne earlier this evening…I’ve been having a weird feeling like I’m in between stages or something. As though something really big is about to happen. I’m not sure what, but I feel like God is preparing me for something intense…I pray it’s a good thing. I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for any more 9/11’s. (Jamie if you don’t know what I’m talking about…ask Loreanne, she can give you the quick summary) 😉 So alas, I am once again back where I started! Confused! At least it’s a familiar place to be, hehe. So till next time…or until I think of some important detail that I forgot…I’ll keep you posted!

Well, the first week of classes has come and gone, once again I am confronted with questions concerning my future. The returning attention seems to beg the question, “If I am thinking about my future now…what do I think about when I am in the future?” I have come to the same conclusion that most people come to…when you have encountered the future, you think about your past. It’s a rather vicious cycle, isn’t it?
Today is my mother’s birthday…so all week I have been working on finishing the paintings I made for her. I finished last night and now I am waiting for them to be dry enough to pack up and mail. After I have put the last few strokes and finishing touches, I sat back and thought long and hard about a title for them. I came up with “Beautiful wings…and other fun things”. The subjects of my two part painting were two butterflies on one canvas and a bikini and a pair of socks on the other. I laid them out so that they correlate with each other. I’ll have to scan and post them some time, so you can see what I’m talking about. Anyhow, I’m glad their finished.
Last night was also our first Falcon meeting. I was excited to get back into my investigative groove with some new assignments. I had already started on some leads that I had come across earlier this week, so with that out of the way it was nice to just visit with my news section and the two new rookies who have hopped on board. My current investigation has to do with identity theft and the concerns that have been raised about having a student’s SSN on their ID card. With the number of ID cards that are miss placed every day, why do we allow such valuable information to be printed on it? If anyone has any thoughts or commentary concerning this issue, PLEASE PLEASE feel free to contribute your comments!
My last class was canceled today because my professor’s father isn’t doing so well. I can’t say much more than that because I don’t know all the details. But please keep him in your prayers.

I have come to another conclusion after reflecting on the events of this past break and my first week back at school… I suppose this analogy could be applied to just about anyone…but I have found it to be particularly accurate to my current situation. Some guys are like vanilla ice cream…they are wonderful and sweet just as they are, their attributes could be considered the foundation of all other flavors…but I have determined that what makes a guy notable are his toppings. What makes vanilla so wonderful is not just the fact that it tastes good alone, but it is also compatible and complimentary with so many other things. It’s the extra sprinkles, nuts, or whatever else that give vanilla a certain charm.

I’m sitting here trying not to finish my book. Why do I not want it to end? Not because it’s one of those ‘really good’ books, rather because I don’t want to be left without reading material for dinner tonight. It’s interesting how much of a multi-tasker I am. Despite the fact that I’m more than half way through the book, and I don’t even have to be done with it till Friday…I still like to look like I have something important to do while I’m eating alone in Gwinn. Haha! I know I know, I’m a goof-ball. What can I say?
Today has been a wonderful and beautiful day. I woke up early without the assistance of my alarm clock and laid in bed daydreaming for about an hour. I love daydreaming. Life itself is intricate, colorful and definitely worth waking up for…but daydreaming is to life as dew drops are to a rose. A rose is beautiful, but a rose with dew drops is a picture worth remembering.
My roommate and I went to Gwinn and read or books at our usual study table for a good part of the day. Every once in a while she would tap me to get my attention and I would follow her gaze, understand her message and we would smile at our secret inside jokes and resume our reading. I love that my roommate and I can carry on an entire conversation without a single word.
The highlight of my day I would say was finally seeing and (sort of) catching up with a friend. It was nice to get out of the world that I had been sucked into after reading that book all day. And it was even better to see the eyes and smiles of fellow SPUers that I had missed over break. What a blessing!

Some serious action has been going on in Sarah’s ‘special personal life’. Jared called me tonight! Well, first of all…let me start with this. Last night when I got back I called my parents to let them know I got back safely…my dad told me that Jared had called just moments before to arrange a time to meet with my parents! My dad told me that he’s meeting with Jared this Wed! I was like ‘what in the world!?’. So when Jared called me today, you can imagine how anxious I was feeling. I’m so confused! We had talked about the status of our friendship before I left and I did give him a little kiss goodbye. (Turns out that that little kiss was his FIRST kiss ever!) But we had established that our relationship was to remain a ‘friendship’ because of distance and because he didn’t feel that it was fair to get involved when he knew he was going to be going away even after he graduates. (He’s in ROTC and is set to be a commanding officer for at least 4 years after graduation.) Anyway, he called me today to say hi and to tell me that despite his reputation of ‘pushing people away’, he doesn’t want to push me away anymore. He was having a difficult time, I think, trying to say what he meant. But I think he was telling me that he has hope for a future and he would like to eventually ‘define’ our friendship more. Yikes! I’m excited and yet I’m scared at the same time! I think I need a Loreanne hug right now!!!
Gee wiz, I was hoping this would be a ‘career focused’ quarter, haha. Lord help me!

The first day of classes has come and gone…leaving me with bright spirits and an optimistic tone for winter quarter. All of my professors seem like really fun people with captivating teaching styles. I anticipate learning a lot this quarter. It was also nice running into a lot of my friends during the course of my first day. I even managed to meet some new people as well. I pray that those acquaintances grow into lasting friendships.
Unfortunately I haven’t crossed paths with everyone that I had hoped to run into today. But I have not let that get me down, besides…it’s only Monday!
I’m also excited because it’s been a beautiful day! Clear blue skies mean bright shining stars!

Hooray, it feels good to be back in my dorm room. I have missed Seattle. Break was good and I thoroughly enjoyed being home and hanging with my friends. I had a few really memorable moments which I thank the Lord for and I will always cherish. It’s really hard living in two different places. *sigh* Oh well, so it goes. 🙂 My flight home was nice and once again God provided an opportunity to minister with the person I sat next to. It was awesome! I can only pray that the seeds that were planted will grow.
So that brings me here…back in my room with my wonderful roommate who is walking on cloud nine. It’s so sweet! Her and her “special someone” from back home are finally ‘official’. They are now ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. It’s a joy to watch how cute they are together.
Well, classes start tomorrow and I’m nervous. But I think part of that is because I’m exhausted. It’s been a busy break and it’s hard to just sit and cool down when I’m excited to see all my Seattle friends again and get caught up. I’m anxious to get back in the swing of things and establish my routine so I can just zone out and accomplish what I need to accomplish without any distractions.
With that, I wish the best to all of you reading this who are hitting the grind again. Have a great quarter/semester!