Esprit de l'escalier

Wow, this week is almost over. Even though it’s only the first week of school…I’ve already pulled an ‘almost-all-nighter’ and had to skip some reading for a class as a result of it. I’ve already turned down two offers to hang out and go to the movies! Oh-my-gosh! I practically have no social life!

Also as a result of this first week of madness, I have once again been convicted of the fact that I am not super woman. *sigh* As hard as I try to deny the fact that I can’t do everything and that I don’t have super stamina powers, it has finally caught up with me and I am caught in another one of life’s ultimatums. I hate it when this happens!
I’ve come to the point where I had to decide what to let go because I was over-committed. The online registrar wouldn’t let me sign up for the Falcon because I already had 18 credits (I can’t go over that unless I pay extra for them). *sob* And I had to give up writing for the Falcon this quarter! I don’t know how I’ll survive! I’ve also had to give up mentoring jr. highers at Bethany Community church and if push comes to shove I might have to give up intramural tennis too! Lord, I pray it doesn’t come to that!
I guess taking 18 credits of reading and writing intensive courses while working two jobs, leading two Bible studies, a book club and working with the environmental club all at the same time isn’t the wisest arrangement. And that’s after I’ve already cut down! This is tough, I want to be a part of so many things! Life is too short.

Schedule for today:
8am – 1pm: work
1:30 – 2:50 : UFDN 3100
3:00 – 5:30 : work
6:00 – 8:50 : Imaginative writing

*deep breath* Lucky for me, my last class was dismissed early so now I get to really sit down and relax. Well, actually I can sit down and start the reading for tomorrows class. Thankfully tomorrow I don’t have to work as early…I hope – with my luck going the way it is I’ll probably get called in to train another temp employee, haha. I like the new people, so far all of the ones that I’ve actually met and talked with have a pretty good heart about being trained during rush week. By the way, if you haven’t heard it from me yet at the bookstore:
“You have until this Friday to return your text books. The books wrapped in plastic need to STAY in the SAME plastic if you want a full refund. So hang onto your receipt and don’t open any of your books until you are absolutely sure that you are in the class for the long haul. Thank you [your name here] and have a great day!” *smile*

So far my classes seem like fun. I have some captivating profs and some interesting subjects. Also while I was at work today I recruited 3 girls for one of my Bible studies and 2 other people who are interested in my book club. To add to my list of blessings today, I ran into my buddy Steve who was interested in helping me pass out Subway sandwiches to the homeless in downtown Seattle on Saturdays. Yay! (if anyone else is interested in coming along, let me know.) I’m pretty excited. The only hold up on that project so far is that my contact for getting the food doesn’t work the saturday morning shift anymore…so now I have to go make friends with whoever currently holds that time slot at Subway. haha.

My roommate thinks I should hook up with this cute guy down the hall who is from San Diego. But he’s 20 and he’s a soph (I don’t know if I could date a guy who is younger than me). *sigh* I think I just need to be single for a while longer…I still haven’t run into anyone who really truely catches my fancy.
Josh called yesterday and I turned him down again. I feel so bad…I’ve said no to him so many times. He’s quite a persistant little booger. Oh well, it’s sorta funny. (I know, I’m mean).
School starts monday…I’m scared.

***P.S. I might finally get my own advice column in the paper! woo hoo! I need a pen name though. Help me out!

Ok, girls I need serious prayer over here. I’m having massive boy issues. Kyle and I had another ‘talk’ the other night when my roommate was on her leadership retreat and now things are awkward. Josh hasn’t stopped calling and he has made the fact that I turn him down every time he asks me out a routine joke in conversation. And he told me again tonight that he’s convinced I’m going to be his gf soon. (“excuse me? *shaking head*). Chris, (the guy who went stare gazing with me last quarter) is back in the picture. He happens to be on leadership staff with my roommate so we see him often. He’s gotten cuter since last I saw him…I know it sounds potentially gross, but he grew a beard and it actually looks really good.
Then, a few days ago I got an email from Jared asking me if I missed him. I responded saying, “Sure, of course I miss you. I don’t understand exactly why you would ask a question like that, but yea I miss you. I hope you are doing ok.” Then he responds with this:
“Why do you miss me? and to what end? -I am tempting the flood- feeling the
falls- trying your meanings.”

I’m thinking this one over really well before I respond. Because being honest in situations like this can serve to get a girl in trouble. And trouble is really the last thing I need right now. Also, Bradford called me the other day. It was nice to hear from him. He graduates this Wed and he comes home on Thursday. He’s going to chill at home and work a bit and then he’s going to come visit Nick Letts and I here at school in November I think. I’m not sure of the exact time, but around there. *deep breath* So yes, the drama continues and my fervent prayers become longer. LORD be my wisdom and strength. Guide me on Your path.

To make matters harder…I was going through some pictures day before yesterday to fill some picture frames I found – and I came across some pictures of Jeff and I. *sigh* Despite the fact that I know it probably would never have worked out…I still miss him and I still pray for him all the time. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I liked him so much was because I knew we would never really be together in the end. It’s weird how things work like that, ya know? Anyhow, I prayed for a while and slowly the Lord calmed my heart and put me back on task.
I can’t help but feel that I need to hold out a bit longer and not give into any of these boys. I keep dreaming that God is still preparing my Prince Charming for me…somewhere, out there…and that maybe I haven’t met him yet. Likewise, I know that God is still preparing me for that special someone…haha, there’s no way I’m done cookin’ yet. Until then, I have a lot of work to do. But I sure hope the Lord brings my man along soon, hehe…I’m getting rather impatient. 🙂

LORD help me. Things have been insane and I’m loosing my head…it doesn’t get much better than this, let me tell ya. I just finished watching Singing in the Rain with my buddy Amanda. I love that movie…movies like that make me happy. They also make me want to dance and they make me really want a bf who can sing and dance. So awesome! Anyhow, work at the Bookstore has been great, I really feel like I am back in my element. The past few days I’ve been building this really cool “The Everyday Writer” castle. (The Everyday Writer is a book that most profs require for their classes so we have a massive amount of them right now). As I was setting them out the other day I thought to myself…”Wow, this book is a really handy size, I want to build a book castle out of them”. So I did, haha. Another awesome part of this job is that after only a day of being back my manager proposes this great opportunity for a management position! Wow! She said that I can start assistant management training in Spring if I want to! Then after training for a quarter I can go on to manage any Barns and Noble College Bookstore that I want…in the US! So if I wanted, I could go and manage a store in California. The Lord is good, but He’s also way too good. This is like the gazillionth awesome job opportunity that I’ve received in the past few months. I have no idea where I want to go in all of this.
In other news, besides watching Singing In the Rain, Amanda and I also discussed organizing our book club. I’m pretty excited about it…the books she suggested we read sound really fascinating. She also asked if she could be part of one of my Bible studies…which reminded me that I was hosting a Bible study and that I have to get on the ball pretty soon! Yikes!
Also…I was invited to join in an interesting bet with my co-workers at the Bookstore the other day. Our shipping manager, Dave, is trying to loose weight and he’s trying to loose 20 lbs by the end of the year. For each pound that he doesn’t loose, or that he gains, he’s going to pay us $5. But, if he does reach his goal we’re suppose to give him something that he can’t attain for himself…like something that only we can give him. At first, when I heard that I thought to myself “Heck no, I know what this guy is getting at!” But then I realized “This is Dave, he’s not like that.” I couldn’t really think of anything and now that I’ve thought about it…this poses an interesting question: what is something that we have to offer to other people that they can’t attain for themselves? This excludes a lot of the usual awards like money, cooking something…or whatever. Tough question. Dave said that some of the people involved in the bet are going to give him *uh hem* “pictures” (if you know what I mean, haha). I told him I’d have to think about it and see if I could come up with anything (appropriate) that I could give him. So we’ll see where that goes.
Classes start this coming Monday. I’m in a weird state of mind about it…on one hand, I’m excited…and naturally, on the other…I’m not so excited. The ‘not-so-excited’ feeling hit me when I got the required books for one of my classes – all 11 of them. yuck.
On the bright side…the apartment is looking great and more people are moving in tomorrow. yippi and hooray for potential new friends!

So I’m back in Seattle and it’s so beautiful. Ok, well it rained a bit already…but later it was nice. I’m slowly but surely unpacking and getting settled into my apartment…my roommate is running around like a mad woman trying to do her Residence Hall Ministry Coordinator thing. It’s a big job. I’m running around trying to get my work situation figured out. I have to work Monday and I have no idea what time I’m supposed to be there. Plus, I have a doctors appointment on Wed and I have no idea if I’ll be able to get work off! Yikes.
So besides that, stuff has been great. I went to an awesome concert last night and my buddy got a cd. He burned it for me and I can’t wait to get it and listen to it. This girl, I think her name is Rosie (that might just be the name of the band, I’m not sure) has a beautiful voice. When she sings she sounds all mature and smooth, but then she talks and she sounds like a 9 year old girl…it’s hilarious. But yea, the concert was awesome…Mark Olsen and Rocky played that night too.
I made dinner the other night for all the guys that helped me get moved into my apartment…only three of the 6 people that helped me came for dinner…so I have all this food left over. I’ve had lasagna every night for the past week, yum.
I went with my roommate to a leadership coffee house night tonight. It was fun and I got to see a bunch of friends. It’ll be nice to hang out some more with them once they come back from a leadership retreat this weekend. I’m gonna be all alone this week! My roommate and everyone else that’s at school is going to be gone until Tues! Oh well, I think I’ll enjoy the quiet time while I have it….perhaps I’ll finish that book.
Oh! That reminds me…I’m starting a book club. It’ll be super fun…we all read the same book and then we get together and discuss it. (or maybe we all read separate books and then talk about them…I’m not sure…I’m still working out some kinks here and there) I’ll be fun either way…I already have like three people who want to join. Yay! Man, I’m gonna have a lot of groups and clubs going for me…wow. Let’s see…I have a list:

Environmental Stewardship Club
Women’s Bible study
Jr. High Mentoring
Book club
Single and Spectacular
Falcon

Ok, wow, that’s a lot…I wonder how I’m going to work all this into my schedule! Anyhow, if any of you SPUers want to join any of my groups…just let me know! Oh and a friend on my newspaper staff told me I should write my own column! I’ve always wanted to do my own column, but I really want to do it under a pen name…any suggestions? Well, off to bed with me!

Time Loop

[…]

Yes, it’s true. Once again my best friend saved my life and she probably didn’t think twice about it. (Well, actually, I doubt she even knew she did). That’s how good she is. She’s such a great friend that saving my life just comes as second nature to her…I think it’s because she’s been doing it for so long.
Although, technically now it’s 9/12…a few minutes ago (today) it was 9/11. A powerful reminder to our country and a more powerful experience to those directly affected by it. My best friend Loreanne knows how this day encompasses significant memories and changes for me and had it not been for her I might have dreaded living through this day again. If she had not invited me to go out with her and her family, I probably would have spent the greater part of the last 24 hours hiding away, trying to avoid watching the news or any other tributes that were put on today. I know I’m not the only one who is attacked by heart wrenching memories and I’ve spent the last two years praying for those people…and I continue to pray for them. I’m also aware that my story isn’t the worst even though (at times) it’s hard to convince my heart otherwise. I’d like to take this moment to thank my best friend Loreanne for successfully distracting me from getting lost in the memories of today and for once again reminding me; not of what I have had and lost, but reminding me, instead, of what I still have and enjoy.

“LORD I thank you for this day and all the wonderful new memories and blessings you have given me through it. I thank you for all my friends and family, especially for my best friend who continues to bless me in her own unique way. 🙂 LORD I pray You will continue to work in the lives of those affected by the events of this day two years ago and I pray You will have a hand of peace and joy over their hearts. Remind them that they are loved and never forgotten. We thank You again and pray that Your will, not ours be done. In Your precious and holy name, Amen.”

Just got back from Carrows. I went to church tonight and found some fellowship. Hung out with friends after…I hadn’t had dinner yet and neither had they. So I got some yummy salmon and cornbread. I guess the waiter thought we were cute or something and he gave us a bunch of our food for free. I got a free salad and free cornbread, yippi! Funny story by the way. I got lemons with my salmon and I figured I was supposed to squeeze the juice onto it like you see in the movies. Well I was a dork and somehow managed to squirt some in my eye! OH it hurt sooooo bad! So I kept trying to get my eye to tear up and then my friend Vanessa was like “Oh, he wasn’t good enough for you anyway Sarah!” and I looked up at her like “what?” and then I saw that the waiter had come by the table with their desserts and he gave me a sympathetic look. So extremely embarrassing! I guess it looked like I was crying and that some stupid boy had broken my heart or something. I laughed at myself, that’s how bad it looked. HAHA.
So yea, that’s my embarrassing story for the day.

Oh, and I saw a cool quote today…”If happiness is just around the corner, turn often.”

P.S> if any girls want to come over to my place tomorrow at 7pm, I’m holding a women’s fellowship night. A friend asked if I could go over some of the studies from my Single and Spectacular group. So bring your swimsuits and towels, we’re going to have a lesson and then go in the hot tub! I hope you all can come!