Esprit de l'escalier

My life is now complete, last night I went to see Jimmy Eat World at the EMP. *sigh* It was the best show EVER. The audience was small and we were right up front! It was sooo awesome. I got my t-shirt and I got a guitar pic! They threw their stuff out into the audience after their last song and I caught the pic! I was so excited! Woo Hoo!

Then today, to add to all the blessings God has unleashed on my life, it’s absolutely beautiful! It’s sunny, the birds and squirrels are out prancing and I went to have lunch at my friend Heather’s apartment. We had the yummiest deli sandwiches ever.
So yea, I’m a happy girl right now, Praise the Lord for a beautiful day! Now I have to get back to work on these articles, blah, hopefully they’ll fall into place soon.

Poor Jimmy has itchy gills. I feel so bad…it must be incredibly hard to be a fish with an itch and not have the luxury of having arms with hands to scratch it. I’m watching little Jimmy swim around happily and then suddenly dive to the bottom and rub against the gravel with his gills. *sigh* That’s how sad I am…my heart goes out the a fish.
It kind of makes me put things in perspective and shows me how I view things. I think I have a tendency to sympathize with others based partially on eye contact. I’m sure there’s logical reasoning for this documented somewhere in a thick book on some high shelf in a library, coated in a heavy layer of dust. But, I still gage my findings as new in my book!
Anyhow, have you ever realized how you can make a gage relationships based on eye contact? Do you think that half of the men in the armed forces would still be able to kill so many people if they actually had to come face to face with them rather than simply push a button to release a bomb on a target marked by a dot on a screen?
I know these questions have been raised before, but somehow a new lesson is learned every time they’re heard. I think this is also why certain verses in the Bible can have new relevance, every time you read them…whether for the first time or the twentieth time.
Here is my pearl of wisdom for today:
Experience is the twist of lime that gives every lesson a new flavor.

With that, I must go and practice for “Fusion”…I will elaborate later. That is all.

I was just reading my best friend’s journal and like a slap on the face, I was hit with a sudden feeling of grief. Like regret that comes back to haunt you…

Sad memories…happening all over again…good friends…loved ones…unexpected tragedy…September…funerals…Ohio…October… *sigh*…many prayers spoken for you and for me…The Lord is with us…Amen

These were the results of my little MASH experiment.

You will live in Shack.
You will drive a deep red Yamaha YZF R6.
You will marry Someone you don’t know yet and have 2 kids.
You will be a journalist in Seattle.

Trippy huh? It’s almost believable! I think the only part I would change is the shack part. But chances are, that’s the one part that’s going to actually be true about me in the future. Haha. Gee wiz, I wonder if God is trying to tell me something? hmmmmm…

Well, today was my interview for the assistant news editor position at the Falcon Newspaper. Pray for me, I’m super nervous. I’m a little bit nervous about getting the position too. It’s going to be a lot of work and there is a lot of responsibility involved. I’m not sure how the interview went, because it was really hard to read their expressions.
Anyhow, God is good. Today he gave me little signs of encouragment that I really needed. I was like, even though I was a bit overwhelmed and worried…those little sparks of encouragement helped me through. I just pray that He continues to show me the steps to take and the choices to make so I can continue to stay on His path. Lord don’t let go of me!!!!

Have you ever needed a specific hug? Like a hug that can only come from your dad? or from your grandma? Right now I need a guy hug. I need the kind of hug that can only come from a close guy friend…not necessarily a boyfriend (although that would be nice too), but a brother-type person.
It’s interesting how different people in our lives fulfill different roles and meet different needs. My brother for example, he hugs differently than my dad. (Either of them would definitly be able to fulfill this hug longing right now). My dad’s hugs are big bear hugs. The kind where you get lifted off of your feet and twirled around. In those kind of hugs, it’s like my heart is a snow globe and when all the joy seems to have settled to the bottom…a big twirling bear hug from dad will always stir up the joy and happiness in my heart again.
A mom hug is a comforting kind of hug. Firm but gentle in an assuring sort of way. When something goes wrong at school or life is giving you the cold shoulder…a mom hug is a good hug to have.
I could go on about roommate hugs and best friend hugs….but I don’t think I have the right words with me right now to describe them. Those are the kind of hugs that are applied accordingly for whatever situation arises. If I’m sad, the best friend hug will most certainly be adjusted for the tender moment. If I’m happy and excited, she would probably have a bouncy, happy…jumping up and down hug on hand. Best friend hugs and roommate hugs are “adjustable hugs”…I think that’s the best way to describe them.
But guy hugs…*sigh*…they, I’m afraid are completely unique. Sometimes (and very rarely so) can they be satisfied by a family member. There is a certain strength and security that can be found in a big, warm ‘guy hug’. And I wish I could give a description that would do it justice, but alas…I have an article to write and homework to do. Blah. I’m a bit stressed out and a touch lonely. But the only possible cure for that right now, besides a guy hug, is prayer. So I think I’ll do that before I run along to study and whatnot.
My pearl of wisdom for the day…be generous with your hugs and don’t forget you can always make more.

Why does this happen? Tell me…honestly…are manners and courtesy soooo scarce these days that guys honestly take every manner as a sign of “special attention”? AAARRRGGHHH. Allow me to enlighten you to the situation. It all started when my roommate made me go to Gwinn to eat dinner and we were having fun and I was starting to relax and forget about the huge article that I had due today when she says something about Fraser and then she says “And speaking of…” And so I decide not to follow her eyes but rather to just take a sudden interest in my clam chowder and not look up.
Anyhow, to make a long story short, we ended up watching ‘Chocolat’ at his place. I made sure that the door was open and so on and so forth. Anyway, I kept my distance, but then he took my hand and he kissed the back of it! Oh my goodness! I can’t even begin to tell you…that’s a sweet spot. To me that shows charm and respect. Anyhow, I continued to keep my distance and was very thankful when people kept coming in and out of the room spontaniously. Anyhow, we continued to watch the movie and then he leaned over to me like he was going to kiss me! I was like, oh no…no, please not this. I held up my hand and stopped him. I said “I can’t” and he backed off. Then naturally he asked why and I told him. I said, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me and ….there’s a lot I don’t know about you.” He agreed and I said I’m sorry. He said he was sorry before that. And he was content to just hold my hand every once in a while. I figured I would let him do that and then further explain my position after the movie. And of course I continued to keep my distance. Anyhow, here’s the interesting part. After the movie we talked some more about random stuff and we got on the subject of my goals and that lead to how I like classical music and soundtracks and whatever. Then he got all excited and showed me some classical music he had on his computer and I started talking about something, I don’t remember what, because as I was listening he came up behind me and brushed my hair away from my neck, took my hand and twirled me around and we started dancing! Let me tell you…this guy knows how to dance! He danced the proper way! You know…one hand on the back and the other one held out. It was soooo cool! I was praying to God the whole time, “Please Lord, keep my head clear…help me think rationally…” anyhow, his roommate came back and we talked and blah blah blah…he walked me back up the hill to Ashton and just before I was about to head to my room I stopped and had a talk with him. I explained that I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I explained that I would appreciate if we could just take it easy and be friends. But com’on! I wasn’t expecting this at all! I was just being nice and polite. I need to stop being so nice. Great…now my mind is going a thousand miles an hour. I can’t think straight…Lord help me. I really don’t think I like him that much…in fact…I don’t like him like that at all. I don’t need this now. Best friend…pray for me! I wish you were here so we could have a pamper party and talk face to face. I thank the Lord because I’m not as stressed out about this as I could be. I think I just miss my friends…or perhaps I’m tired and I need a good night’s sleep. blah, I have the Ashton Hall retreat tomorrow. I don’t know why I’m not jazzed about it; probably because I’ve got a lot on my plate. *sigh* But I’d probably be bored if I didn’t. hmmm…I should stop now before I let this get any more out hand than it already is. Mkay, bye for now.

I have a list of folks I know……all written in a book, and every now and then……I go and take a look.
>
>That is when I realize these names……they are a part, not of the book they’re written in……but taken from the heart.
>
>For each name stands for someone……who has crossed my path sometime, and in that meeting they have become……the reason and the rhyme.
>
>Although it sounds fantastic……for me to make this claim, I really am composed……of each
>remembered name.
>
>Although you’re not aware……of any special link, just knowing you, has shaped my life……more than you could think.
>
>So please don’t think my greeting……as just a mere routine, your name was not……forgotten in between.
>
>For when I send a greeting……that is addressed to you, it is because you’re on the list……of folks I’m indebted to.
>
>So whether I have known you……for many days or few, in some ways you have a part……in shaping things I do.
>
>I am but a total……of many folks I’ve met, you are a friend I would prefer……never to forget.
>
>Thank you for being my friend !!

Okay, so yea, that’s a lie and all of you who know me pretty well are probably laughing. Anyhow, it’s been super long since my last entry. And this one is probably going to be pretty short as well. Sorry!
School has been good…overwhelming as usual…but good nonetheless. I’ve spent outrageous amounts on books and ungodly amounts on paint supplies (I pray it’s worth it!).
I’m pretty proud of myself on one account though. I haven’t been late to my 8am class yet! (ok, so there’s only been two classes so far…but still! I’m 2 for 2!). Plus I’ve been getting up early enough to go and take advantage of our cafeteria for some yummy breakfast. (Our cafeteria, by the way, is ranked number one in the nation! Can you believe it!)
My roommate and I met a guy named Faser yesterday. Isn’t that neat?! Now I can honestly say I know guy named Fraser. We met him in front of Gwinn (that’s our cafeteria) after coming from an opening convocation. Gwinn wasn’t open yet so we sat down on the staircase nearby and my wonderful roommate listened to me go on about how I’m suffering from tennis withdrawls (I still haven’t found anyone who has a racket and has time to go play *whine*). Fraser walks up and just as he reaches to try the door we politely inform him that it isn’t open yet and I slide over and make room for him to sit with us on the stairs. By this time I have already asked all three people around us if they played tennis (because I’m desperate for someone to hit with!), so naturally my first question to Fraser isn’t “Sooo…what’s your name?” or “Are you new here?”. My first question is “Do you know how to play tennis? Do you have a racket?”. I didn’t even give him time to respond to the first question before asking the second, haha. What can I say? Withdrawl brings out a fiesty side in me.
So all three of us talked for a while before Gwinn opened and Faser ate lunch with us. Turns out my roommate, Sarah, had talked to his dad in the sandwich line just a day or so ago when everyone was moving in. Weird huh?! Yea, that’s my roommate for ya, she seriously knows just about everyone here!
Last night Fraser called me and asked if I wanted to play chess the next evening. So after dinner I walked over to Emerson (my old dorm, *sigh*) and I went and played chess. Quite fun actually. I did learn from a pro *wink wink, J, you know who you are!* We ended up talking more than playing though…he’s quite an interesting and intellectual fellow. I’m just excited that I’m meeting more and more new people.
Tonight was GROUP, it’s like youth group for college people. There was some great worship and this guy spoke and he recited the whole story of Johan verbatim! And he told it really well! Then we went on a prayer walk around the campus. We walked silently with candles and prayed silent prayers for this coming year. We finally regrouped and sang a few more worship songs before going back to our dorms. It was funny, after we got back I was heading to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth when suddenly a “panty parade” from 4th West marches through our hall knocking on doors and yelling “PANTY PARADE!!!” as they continue down the hall in nothing but panties, bras and high heels. haha! fun stuff!
Oh yea, speaking of weirdness…initiation or..Fusion rather…..is next week and I’ve been elected to be part of the planning committee. Yikes! I need go ideas! PLEASE HELP! Give me some good, clean, and safe initiation ideas.
And with that, my friends, I’d love to update you more…but I need sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow and walk to Safeway. Then I need to get back in time to finish my resume (I can’t find my old one) and then finish my application for assistant news editor (even though I pretty much already have the job). Then I have to research some stuff and come up with some good questions for an interview with a guy that I have tomorrow for an article I’ve already been assigned to do. THEN…I have class and then I need to get some laundry started while I crank away at the mountain high piles of homework and studying I already have to do. Then I have my Falcon staff meeting at 9:00pm! *grrrrr* THAT’S THE SAME TIME AS CSI!!!!!!!!!! I’m sooooo mad! I know they bumped it back so they could watch Friends (stupid Friends, they’re so old!) I’ll have to find somebody to record it. Then I have to write an apology note to my Bible study girls because I will have had to miss our scheduled emailing time, *sniffle* I feel so bad!
Please keep me in your prayers and be sure to thank the Lord for all the little blessings too! (like sleep for instance *yawn*)

Bummer, I think my fish Jimmy is a bit sick. He didn’t finish his lunch! *gasp* I think he’s just tank-sick. He’s been in a temporary travel tank for about three days now. He prolly wants to get back to his original digs. Anyhow, the first day of classes went smoothly. I thank God so much for that. I’m pretty pumped about my classes. I have oil painting, intro to communications and bio: human nutrition. I like all of them so far and they are all on topics that I’m interested in.
The girls on my floor are all freshman except for two other sophomores. They are all really sweet and I’m anxious to get to know them better.
Once again I have been assurred today that God is going to do some amazing things this year. I found that assurrance when I checked my email the other day. I had so many e-cards and little notes of encouragment from my Bible study girls! I was so happy to hear from them and so far they are doing great! I thank the Lord for them. I miss them and my other friends a lot though. But I’m excited to see all my SPU friends too.
So, in summary…so far, so good!

So yea, wow! I’m back at school after a super forever long drive. I don’t have time for a very thorough update because I’m trying to be disciplined and go to bed at a decent hour because I have an oil painting class at the ungodly hour of 8am. Blah. But to be honest I’m really looking forward to it. Anyhow, that’s where I’m at right this very moment, fun eh? I bet you really wanted to know. *said with dripping sarcasm* Anyhow, I miss my Voice of Reason. Life just isn’t the same without her.
Even so, God has been blessing me beyond belief and I just know that He is going to do some amazing things this year. I can feel it. I’m praying that everything will go smoothly tomorrow…the very first day of school! Yikes! I don’t even have my books. Strangely enough, I’m looking forward to the craziness…it’ll put some spice back into my life. Spice is good…hmmm…on many things…*thinking of food…tummy growls* Good thing my parents took my roommate and I to Target yesterday…I’m all stocked up on goldfish crackers and many other essentials hehe. Anyhow, my pearl of wisdom for today is “variety is the spice of life…approach each and every day with the intention of trying something new and creating memories.”

With that..in the words of My Voice of Reason…”that is all”