Esprit de l'escalier

Why does this happen? Tell me…honestly…are manners and courtesy soooo scarce these days that guys honestly take every manner as a sign of “special attention”? AAARRRGGHHH. Allow me to enlighten you to the situation. It all started when my roommate made me go to Gwinn to eat dinner and we were having fun and I was starting to relax and forget about the huge article that I had due today when she says something about Fraser and then she says “And speaking of…” And so I decide not to follow her eyes but rather to just take a sudden interest in my clam chowder and not look up.
Anyhow, to make a long story short, we ended up watching ‘Chocolat’ at his place. I made sure that the door was open and so on and so forth. Anyway, I kept my distance, but then he took my hand and he kissed the back of it! Oh my goodness! I can’t even begin to tell you…that’s a sweet spot. To me that shows charm and respect. Anyhow, I continued to keep my distance and was very thankful when people kept coming in and out of the room spontaniously. Anyhow, we continued to watch the movie and then he leaned over to me like he was going to kiss me! I was like, oh no…no, please not this. I held up my hand and stopped him. I said “I can’t” and he backed off. Then naturally he asked why and I told him. I said, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me and ….there’s a lot I don’t know about you.” He agreed and I said I’m sorry. He said he was sorry before that. And he was content to just hold my hand every once in a while. I figured I would let him do that and then further explain my position after the movie. And of course I continued to keep my distance. Anyhow, here’s the interesting part. After the movie we talked some more about random stuff and we got on the subject of my goals and that lead to how I like classical music and soundtracks and whatever. Then he got all excited and showed me some classical music he had on his computer and I started talking about something, I don’t remember what, because as I was listening he came up behind me and brushed my hair away from my neck, took my hand and twirled me around and we started dancing! Let me tell you…this guy knows how to dance! He danced the proper way! You know…one hand on the back and the other one held out. It was soooo cool! I was praying to God the whole time, “Please Lord, keep my head clear…help me think rationally…” anyhow, his roommate came back and we talked and blah blah blah…he walked me back up the hill to Ashton and just before I was about to head to my room I stopped and had a talk with him. I explained that I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I explained that I would appreciate if we could just take it easy and be friends. But com’on! I wasn’t expecting this at all! I was just being nice and polite. I need to stop being so nice. Great…now my mind is going a thousand miles an hour. I can’t think straight…Lord help me. I really don’t think I like him that much…in fact…I don’t like him like that at all. I don’t need this now. Best friend…pray for me! I wish you were here so we could have a pamper party and talk face to face. I thank the Lord because I’m not as stressed out about this as I could be. I think I just miss my friends…or perhaps I’m tired and I need a good night’s sleep. blah, I have the Ashton Hall retreat tomorrow. I don’t know why I’m not jazzed about it; probably because I’ve got a lot on my plate. *sigh* But I’d probably be bored if I didn’t. hmmm…I should stop now before I let this get any more out hand than it already is. Mkay, bye for now.