Esprit de l'escalier

Here’s the scoop. Josh (air force guy) has continued to call and we have continued to hang out. He’s the friend that was waiting for me after my first day of work.
Jared has kept calling and I still enjoy talking with him.
Currently, I’m trying not to think of either as prospects because I’m trying really hard to focus on school and my career. Plus, I am still getting to know Josh and I don’t want to jump to any conclusions about either.
I still haven’t heard from Bradford or Dan Jackson. Fraser called me a few days ago after the raid last friday. He wanted to go to coffee and catch up. haha. I haven’t called him back…I’m too busy! Plus, I don’t want to get into ‘that’ again. (If you don’t remember the last Fraser situation…check past entries, haha)
Jared is coming to visit me in less than two weeks! I’m nervous, but I’m still really excited to see him. Plus, it’ll be nice to have visitors of my own after my roommate has had a gazillion visitors of her own for the past few weekends.
So, that’s where I’m at right now. Loreanne, I’ve been praying for situation with Lee. I hope things clear up and you figure out why he’s acting different.
Well, back to reading…study study study!!!

These past few days have been crazy. Let me give you a brief update.
Sunday was Ashton Cup…we won third place! I’m proud because we were the only girls that placed. It’s hard competing against guys prancing around stage in dresses or mermaid costumes. First place was 5th west’s rendition of the Sound of Music (which we didn’t get to see because we were back stage getting ready cuz we were up next…talk about a hard act to follow!). Second place was 6th west’s performance of The Little Mermaid…absolutely hilarious!!!
Another guy floor performed Moulin Rouge, that was so funny! They were pretty good…but obviously we were better! hehe.
The other girl floors did acts like Sesame Street, Fiddler on the Roof, Men in Black, Zoolander, Mary Poppins, Foot Loose and I can’t remember what else.

I had my first official day of work on Monday. It was nice, I think I’m getting the hang of it pretty fast. After work I was leaving out the back door to go and get dinner in Gwinn and I was surprised to see my friend waiting for me. So we went to Gwinn together and I sat with my new friend Bridget (she works at the bookstore too) and a few other people.
Fraser came and sat with us too and told us about his crazy bungee jumping escapade. Turns out he and a few guys from his floor went bungee jumping NAKED! Gross!
So, that brings me to today. I got up early to go to the office and finish my article early. It’s nice to have one more thing off of my plate.
What’s interesting is that when I got to the office this morning I found a really gross note left in front of our door. It was a “Guide to Oral Sex” video with a note tapped on the front that said something like, “The Falcon sucks…” I don’t remember what the rest of the note said. But I called Security and they came and took pictures and removed the tape. Weirdness, this is the second surprise package we received this quarter. The last one was a 2 liter bottle of urine and a note that said something like “The Falcon pisses me off! We don’t buy into your nazi propaganda.”
Weirdos, what’s their deal? Oh well, I think it’s hilarious…of all the things to get ticked off about…they choose the campus newspaper. haha.

Today was a super busy day. Got up early to go to breakfast before practice for Ashton Cup. After practicing for a couple hours, I ran back to get a shower before my PA interview. I think that went pretty well. I feel confident. Besides, I’m not too worried about whether I get the job for next year or not. I’m super happy that I got my job at the bookstore.
So right after my interview today I finally got to go give food out to the homeless. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while and I plan on having it be a regular thing. Here’s how it started….a few girls on my floor who work at Subway were talking one day about how Subway always throws away all these pre-made sandwiches and salads every Saturday. So I told them to ask if they could just bring the food back to the floor after work because I thought it’d be good to go give the food to the homeless rather than throw it away and waste it. So today, my friend Pauline brought a huge bag of sandwiches and salads home after work and her boyfriend volunteered to take us downtown to hand out food to people we saw on the streets. It was fun…I loved it!
We tried to find some good places to go, but we decided that we couldn’t go too far without bringing more guys with us…simply for safety’s sake. But next week I hope to have more people and perhaps even more food to distribute!
So, besides that…my roommate has company again this weekend. Four of her friends came from Oregon and one of them is having a birthday party this weekend. They’re nice girls, I like them. But it seems like all they talk about are their boyfriends and whatnot. Right now they are looking through a wedding magazine, haha. Gee wiz, I wonder how the guys feel about that, haha. Oh well, it’s cute to watch. Anyhow, I must be back to work! I’ve got a lot to work on for the Falcon. By the way, if anyone knows anybody who went to the ‘homosexual’ forum last thursday, direct them my way!

Subject: so very true

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 20 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
“Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.”
“Well,” said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, “These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.”
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.
“I’ve got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?”
“Sure,” said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle “Here,Dolly!” he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.
Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up….
“I want that one,” the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.”
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, “You see sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”
**********************************************************************
The world is full of people who need someone who understands. Jesus said, “if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.”
Not ashamed?
This is the simplest test . . . if you Love God, and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you, send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you! It’s National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you’ll know you have a circle of friends.

“Don’t make Me come down there!” -God

So it’s weird…I’ve got this strange mix in my life right now. It’s like a blend of blessings and trials. And although I know both are very much to my benefit, I could really do without the trials right now.
I’ve been humbled many times this week, but I’ve also been uplifted too. I’m in a neutral zone, feeling like I should be doing something, but I’m not sure what it is.
Now, for the first time in a while, I’ve sat down and reflected on my schedule and realized that I might be pushing myself too hard…or even worse, I might be pushing myself too hard – in the wrong direction.

Tuesday:
9:30am – 10:30 Chapel
10:35 – 11:00 Say farewell to roommate’s boyfriend
11:10 – 6:00pm Run around like mad person working on article and paper for argumentation that’s due tomorrow
6:00pm – 6:45 Floor dinner
7:00pm – 8:00 Meet with UCOR group for project
7:45 – 8:10 Work at Falcon office
8:15 – 8:40 sit and gather myself (updating journal right now)
9:00pm – ? Secret floor business
? – ? finish argumentation brief and UCOR paper

Wed:
9:00am – 2:50pm Classes
3:00 – 4:00 interview for job at bookstore
4:15 – 6:30 homework/study, blah blah
6:30 – 7:00 dinner
7:00 – 9:00 more homework/studying
9:00 – 10:30 GROUP
10:45 – ? Secret floor business

Ok, so here’s what happened…Ashton Cup is coming up and we’ve started practice. I can’t reveal what our plan is or what we’re doing, but I can tell you that it involves backflips and other amazing stunts. With that being said, I suppose that sets the foundation for me to explain why I have a hug scrape across my forehead and nose. *sniffle* “Oh, how it burns!”
Yes, I am one of the brave few who dared to confront the extreme stunts necessary to our act. I was doing a back-flip and lost my momentum and landed smack on my face on the cement floor. Yea, it hurt…I suppose it’s a good thing that I was too dizzy to notice the pain until later when I got ice…hehe.

I just got a call from my chief in editor. She nicely informed me that they had decided to go with someone else for the position of assistant news editor. It’s understandable. I mean, I haven’t been doing my best lately and I can always do better. Besides, I’ve been blessed a lot lately with new friends, the encouragement of long-time best friends and also the possibility of a new job at the bookstore that I have been hoping to have for a while. So although I am saddened by this second time denial…I will not give up. I will be thankful for these other opportunities that have arisen, and I will continue to pursue the opportunities I have sought after. Thank the Lord, for He is good.
In other news, I got to talk to my mom and my brother today. I got a voice mail from my dad so I knew I could catch my parents at home. I found out that my dad was in a horrible accident that totaled the Explorer. Apparently it did a cartwheel, running into a telephone pole, through a cement planter box and the air bags didn’t even open. The window was bashed (completely gone), and the car as a whole looked as though someone had dropped it off a cliff. But thank the Lord God, my dad came out without a scratch on him. In fact, he couldn’t remember even getting in the car. He woke up on the floor of his office, looked at the clock and thought he had just fallen asleep so he got up and walked out to get in the car and go home. He saw the car was completely wrecked and called my mom thinking that someone had taken the car for a joy ride and returned it as a disaster. They called the police and they investigated. It took them a while to even find the site of the accident. My dad went in to get a cat scan the other day and we’re still awaiting results. He seems fine and he’s convinced nothing is wrong. But the police think he might have had a mild seizer and blacked out. I pray everything is alright. It seems weird that he didn’t even mention it when he called earlier today and left a message talking about how the business has a meeting near Disney World and they’re paying for our trip there. He told me we had an extra room so I could bring a friend…he was so excited about it! And he was eager to hear all about my Valentine’s Day date and to find out how my life has been and what God has been doing. I thank the Lord for my parents and I thank Him that my father is alright and safe.

Let’s start the work week with some silly fun, maybe it will set the tone for a fun work week!
-Tim “Pinky Chickenbreath”

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose…

Follow the instructions to find your new name (Make sure you scroll all the way to the bottom). The following is an excerpt from a children’s book, “Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = snotty
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = buttercup
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = chuckle
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = gizzard
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of Your new last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Goober Chickenshorts. Now when you SEND THIS ON … use your NEW name as the subject or at the top. And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day, adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your life!!

After a long day of classes and running around I got back to my room and got ready. Josh came and picked me up right on time at 5pm. And he surprised me with a dozen red roses! I was shocked! Apparently he had talked to my roommate in advance to ask her opinion because he wasn’t sure whether to get red or pink! I was so flattered. 🙂 Then he took me over to these docks and we walked along the water. We talked and watched the sunset. This is a place that he comes to walk and just have alone time and watch the city lights. What’s even cooler is that we saw sea lions! There was this really cute baby sea lion that was just playing and having fun in the water. He was fun to watch. So after a while we decided to head out. He took me back to my room so I could get changed into some nicer clothes for dinner at this really neat Italian restaurant. I feel so bad though because I made him wait! I couldn’t find the shoes I was planning to wear with the outfit I had set out! So my roommate and I were frantically running around trying to find some brown shoes to borrow. But thankfully I finally found them. So once again we were in his really nice black Dodge Ram truck and this time he was taking me to this Italian restaurant. Let me tell you a little bit about this place. The cheif’s name is Mike and there is no menu for this place. He comes to your table and asks you what you like and what you don’t like and then he goes and makes something special just for you! It was soooo yummy! Then he makes you a dessert that you and your date share. It was sweet. Josh had made reservations for this place a week in advance. After dinner we got a hold of my roommate and met up with them to go to Jet City Improv. The show was great and there were a lot of people there that we knew from school. A funny part is that when we got there, they had you this survey thing and you’re supposed to fill it out with your name and stuff. We thought it was a tactic to get our information to send us junk mail so we put a fake name on it. At the end of the show they drew our survey and called out our fake name! Somebody in the audience yelled out that ‘Andrew Smith’ (our fake name) was in the bathroom, so they drew a second person and they won a prize of two teddy bears. haha, Josh was like “Man, we should’ve put our real names on it!” So that was a fun memory.
Afterwards, we went with my roommate and her boyfriend to Denny’s and I got some tea and we sat and chatted a while. It was nice.
Then he took me back to my room, escorted me to the door and gave me a nice ‘side-hug’. You know the kind, haha. Another thing, he asked me if I’d like to go to church with him on Sunday. So I’m expecting him to call, I’m not sure if I should go because I know my roommate has plans to take Adam to our church. So, I dunno. We’ll see what happens!

*on the front of the letter it had two blue Hawaiian shirt-shaped post-it notes that said – “Happy Valentine’s Day – great friend of mine. Affectionatly yours – Jared” “P.S. thought you might like the poem – I know the rhyme is elementary.” and “Those petals are white and yellow with red tips – in case you cannot tell by the time you get them.” [with the letter in the envelope there are a bunch of rose petals and tiny origomy cranes]*

“I get it now, you want to make things hard for me to see if I am really serious – you can’t trust me. Some would run away (in my shoes), but while you are unsure about me – I am certain of you, and of myself. I will wait – you will know me before the end and we will be happy together.
You’re right – I’m seeking affirmation that I thought I already had. That kiss was affirmation enough for me. You can’t let go because you have been burned. So I will wait instead of shunning you and when ‘you’ come around I will believe in you. So while I have learned to fear that you will never trust me I am hanging on for that chance.
I thought it might be the past – so I asked about 9/11.
I thought of other things, but all along it was just me – I hurt you – I’m sorry – so now I must wait until you can trust me again. I will hope for the day when you can jump into my arms – knowing all the while that I am trustworthy so that day could be tomorrow, in my mind. I wait then – I understand when you say to “wait on God” – you want to be sure about me – my pride is offended, but it does not change my course. I have been honest and true with you.
I couldn’t handle it before – I couldn’t see you go the same way that Melissa went. I didn’t know you well enough Sarah, Melissa was still on my mind.
But I am freer now, and I want to be with you. And the doors that were closed before (seemed closed anyway) are open now. Before, I saw Melissa in my mind and couldn’t see how you would not leave me too – I didn’t think that I could hold you tightly enough. But now I can – I am ready to sacrifice for closeness ( I know you won’t like that line – but I think you know what I mean). So I ask you to believe in me – But I wait for the Lord to make his plans known and to calm you heart and guide it.

Respectfully yours – Jared

My sleeping heart- too late for spring
the cold and dark of night
shadows, joyless shifting sands
this nightmare haunts my sight.
You know the man, you fear him too…
your spectre to you seems
to’ve slinked into reality
and laughed at you in dreams.
And now the day is crowing in
before- it was just night.
And now the joker calls your name
while your too weak to fight
he whispers sadly in your ear
when none are passing by,
but how his screams tear the wind
if anyone draws nigh.

My sleeping heart- awake for spring
I rise to find the Sun
has crowned a slender princess
with whom His light is one.
Two separate bodies
one shinning face-
the path back to the real
the way from here to grace.
Shafts of light fall silently
and dance upon the floor-
I shuddered as the spectre shrieked
her light had struck his core.
Peirced through the heart,
I saw him die-
I took her hand in mine…
and deepest night we do not fear
and never do we cry.