Esprit de l'escalier

So…I’ve gone through just about all the stages of recovery from massive botching…denial, anger, mourning, pouting, acceptence…and now I’m onto the ‘get-back-on-your-horse-and-ride-again’ stage.

I’ve done my investigation and research and I even went and pestered some professors for quotes and information…now I’m eager to organize and write out my results in a perfectly eloquent and completely wonderful article to rectify my ambition and hopeful existence as a journalist.

I’d just like to thank all those (two) wonderful friends who encouraged me during my time (stage) of mouring and pouting. (thanks Loreanne and Pete!). You guys are wonderful.

Wish me luck, these next four assignments are pretty thick!

In other news…I’ve been presented with some pretty intense questions/issues lately. LORD, give me strength and wisdom to answer the tough questions wisely and act on those decisions accordingly. Amen.

P.S. – Loreanne, I’ll call and fill you in soon!

[…]

I am the worst journalist ever.

My story isn’t going in the paper tomorrow. I had worked pretty hard on it. I took the wrong lead and it messed me up. The breaking news I wanted to follow:

*New computer virus/worm detected yesterday that has struck the SPU campus

*The breakouts of chicken pox at UW (importance of this is that even if you’ve already had the chicken pox, you are still at risk to contract shingles)

*News about the Patriot Act

*The New Hampshire primaries

*sigh* So much for my big break. Why doesn’t my editor listen to me!!! grrrr. I suck.

This is an article from this week’s TIME Magazine. Check it out.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/printout/0,8816,1101040202-582350,00.html

-Dude
-huh?
-what’s the score?
-I dunno, I thought you had the card
-What card?
-I found the little pencil here in my pocket
-So why didn’t you keep the score?
-It’s your move
-I don’t know where I’m going. What are you talking about?
-I showed you earlier. How do you get lost playing golf? It’s not that hard. Swing and miss, trial and error.
-Golf? Who said anything about golf?
-You’ve been putting around that hole forever.
-Dude, that’s my life
-Then why aren’t you getting in it?
-I’m lost. I suck. I quit.
-You can’t quit this game
-Why not? I haven’t gotten anywhere
-Do you know where you’re going?
-No
-So why do you want to move?
-I dunno
-For a guy who doesn’t know so much, you sure say a lot
-Shut up
-Your life is so small, yet you struggle so hard to fill it
-Dude. Seriously, that’s mean
-Honestly, you have all it takes right there. I’ve even filled it a couple times. You could’ve left my ball there. I’m sure the hole would’ve felt just the same.
-I don’t want your frickin’ filling
-Then why’d you invite my company?

I’ve been learning a lot about myself lately…and it’s scaring me. Just talking to people and having them tell me what they ‘really’ think is quite an eye-opener.
I’ve been trying really hard lately to be more assertive and to speak up. It’s a weird feeling to talk so much. A very vulnerable position I think. I felt vulnerable anyway.
I’ve also been trying to show certain people that I am no better than them. They are still convinced that I’m some sort of goody-goody. But honestly people, I’m a bad, no-good, sinful person! Why won’t you believe me!?
Anyhow, self-realization is a really intense process. LORD help me through it.

The logic of children

And God made woman…

Ok, so I need to make a confession. My roommate’s bf came to visit this weekend and he brought along some friends. (Already I know you can see where this is going.) Anyhow, his two friends were David and Adam. David was on the phone a lot of the time with his gf. Adam has no gf. Adam is a cute Christian, pre-law, communications major at George Fox University. At first, he really didn’t seem like my type, but as we talked and had fun I realized how much we have in common. It’s ridiculous! Well, to get to the point…the thing is…I mean, what I need to confess is…ummm, we kissed last night…a lot. And I think I like him. That’s the skinny of it. But then again, I’m still coming off my period…so we’ll see if this is just an emotional thing or not. I’m really praying about it, because he’s cute. He has a big smile and a big heart for Jesus. And he’s funny.
Oh, the catch? He’s 19 and a sophomore. Since when have I ever dated younger boys?! And since when did I ever kiss a boy after knowing him only two days?! Since when have I ever been into an Orgoneon! I’m so confused! Pray for me. 🙂

I’m tired. I have 8am astronomy tomorrow. I think there’s a test. My prof hates me…I’m convinced of it. I’m lost and tomorrow I’m going to die. *sniffle* Goodbye all….I love you.

Should I by some chance miracle survive tomorrow’s class. My first wish would be to see all the friends I haven’t seen in days. (that means you kyle!) Well, let me rephrase that…I’ll see all the seattle friends that I haven’t seen in days. But anyhow, I have to stay alive long enough to finish this huge article that I’m working on…well, two articles actually. But, pray that I stay alive so I can tell you more about it later. Now, it’s bed time.