Esprit de l'escalier

I’ve been learning a lot about myself lately…and it’s scaring me. Just talking to people and having them tell me what they ‘really’ think is quite an eye-opener.
I’ve been trying really hard lately to be more assertive and to speak up. It’s a weird feeling to talk so much. A very vulnerable position I think. I felt vulnerable anyway.
I’ve also been trying to show certain people that I am no better than them. They are still convinced that I’m some sort of goody-goody. But honestly people, I’m a bad, no-good, sinful person! Why won’t you believe me!?
Anyhow, self-realization is a really intense process. LORD help me through it.