Esprit de l'escalier

I am a member of 1 clique of size 5

poluowau, trademehalos, tikijam, nerdalie, streamofdreams

I’m being watched…always being watched. *sneaky peek over both shoulders* Every move I make is done with careful precision…can’t risk a mistake. I’d loose my head.

Ohmygosh, I am so burnt out and I just want to go home and be with my friends and family. I want to relax and have time to hang out with my Bible study girls, work on my art work, read all I want, have a picnic at the park, play tennis with my friends (especially you Loreanne!)…oh oh, and I can’t wait for the Fourth of July party! I’m anxious to play with my kitties and lay in the morning sunshine that streams through our living room window. I want to go jogging in the morning until I’m red in the face and can feel the heat pulsing in my head…and then lay on the floor under the fan in the family room until I’m cool again. I want to get rid of this belly that I got during winter quarter! I want to work with my mom in the back yard as we struggle to salvage a dying garden. I want to stay up late and watch the raccoons teeter on their bellies as they hang on the rim of the fountain to wash their paws in the trickling water.
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Your are
65%
in control of your life.

what does that mean?
You have a healthy mix of internal drive and belief in external forces (fate, your friends, coworkers, luck). You know when something is your job, and if you want it to turn out good, you will work on it. You also know when something is beyond your control, and you’re usually OK with that.

Soooo, I’m posting an update at the special request of my good friend Kenny. And although that sentence is true, it was really not necessary to say…I just said it because it makes me feel special to be wanted, yay!
Anyhow, a lot is going on (as usual). Things are coming down to the wire and tonight will most likely be the last social night I have for a week at least. I’m going out with my Falcon homies for dinner. It’s super cool because the Falcon budget has it covered, sweet! Just like everyone else, I’ve got finals piled up like the dust behind our refrigerator. Which brings me to another task waiting for me….cleaning! ew. I’m not looking forward to it…but my obsessive compulsive side keeps telling me I should set aside the books and dive in with paper towels and a squeaky new bottle of 409.

Tuesday night was my last late night at the Falcon office, praise the Lord. But in all honesty, I’m gonna miss it. Well, I’m actually not going to miss it for long because I’ll be back next year except with more responsibility on my shoulders and a paycheck to ease my growing-pains as assistant news editor. I look forward to it.

That night I felt another kind of relief as I walked back up to the apartment. The moon was full and beautiful and I felt drawn to praise God. So when I finally slipped in the door of my room and unloaded all my stuff, I stepped outside on the balcony and just sat with God and chatted a while. As usual, He was nice even though I hadn’t talked to Him in a while. I know I’d be like “what the heck, I haven’t heard from you in forever!” But He was patient and let me unload all my stress. Then I sat and just relished in the relaxing glow of the full moon and listened. It was wonderful! There’s more to that…but you know how it is. 🙂

I’ve come up with a startling realization that you can get a lot more studying done if you do so in your underwear. No, No, I’m serious. I know it sounds silly, but hear me out. You’ll be comfortable temperature-wise because it’s hot out and (especially if you live in Robbins) it’s a wonderful alternative when there’s no AC. But most important, you won’t be inclined to have the door open and distract yourself with visitors and you won’t go anywhere because…well, you’re in your underpants and only Kenny would really be the kind of person to walk around in public with nothing but his tightie-whities and a pair of fuzzy slippers.

It’s been a while since my last post and you’d think I’d have a nice juicy update. But to be quite honest, I’m not even sure where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing for the past few days. I just remember when I was at work last week and I was calling publishers and ordering books. This one guy I talked to was having difficulties looking up an order and he kept grumbling into the phone and he said “Oh for the love of crumb cake!” It was hilarious…totally made my day.

So…I have not been able to smell, taste or hear much of anything for the past week. My palms are still clammy and my nose is still runny and my head still feels like it’s packed with snot. So in honor of my illness I will thank my roommate for sharing her germs. THANK YOU ROOMMATE! I WAS REALLY WANTING TO BE SICK! YOU HAVE GREAT TIMING WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING!! boo.

On a more positive note, I found out just moments ago that I got the position of assistant news editor at the Falcon. I feel like I should be in a celebratory mood, but right now my brain is foggy and I feel like there are a gazillion other things I should be doing other than celebrating.

Wow, it’s already the 23rd? I’d totally lost track of time until now. It’s really hard attempting to rest and get rid of a cold while trying to do work at the same time…I’ve found that it’s actually quite impossible. Go figure.

Also…I’ve decided just now…this very moment…that I’m going to marry a chiropractor. Yes, that’s right. I figure (in my crazy idealistic mind) that it’s only practical for the financial and health aspects of my future. I would have free back/neck care and less stress concerning my back/neck or the cost of caring for it. 🙂 It’s perfect! Now all I have to do is find a handsome Christian chiropractor…hmmmm, where do I start? I better get on this one fast because I’ve only got a year left of college and everyone knows that your chances of meeting someone after college decrease greatly. Well, if anybody out there knows anyone that meets this description…let me know! Oh wait…my boyfriend is pre-med! Hmmm…perhaps he’ll go into the chiropractic area instead of psych. I’ll have to talk to him about that soon…

Well, this is where I smile cheerfully and get back to the grind. For all of you out there who have as crazy a week ahead of you as I do…Godspeed.

My word…I have never felt so crappy and homesick before in my life.
I guess everyone needs a good cry every now and then.

Lord please comfort my aching heart and sooth my nerves. Amen.

Enemy of Apathy

She sits like a bird, brooding on the waters,
Hovering on the chaos of the world’s first day;
She sighs and she sings, mothering creation,
Waiting to give birth to all the Word will say.

She wings over earth, resting where she wishes,
Lighting close at hand or soaring through the skies;
She nests in the womb, welcoming each wonder,
Nourishing potential hidden to our eyes.

She dances in fire, startling her spectators,
Waking tongues of ecstasy where dumbness reigned;
She weans and inspires all whose hearts are open,
Nor can she be captured, silenced or restrained.

For she is the Spirit, one with God in essence,
Gifted by the Saviour in eternal love;
She is the key opening the scriptures,
Enemy of apathy and heavenly dove.

You all will live longer than any generation in history, yet you were kicked into high gear earlier as well. How exhausted you must be
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