Ohmygosh, I am so burnt out and I just want to go home and be with my friends and family. I want to relax and have time to hang out with my Bible study girls, work on my art work, read all I want, have a picnic at the park, play tennis with my friends (especially you Loreanne!)…oh oh, and I can’t wait for the Fourth of July party! I’m anxious to play with my kitties and lay in the morning sunshine that streams through our living room window. I want to go jogging in the morning until I’m red in the face and can feel the heat pulsing in my head…and then lay on the floor under the fan in the family room until I’m cool again. I want to get rid of this belly that I got during winter quarter! I want to work with my mom in the back yard as we struggle to salvage a dying garden. I want to stay up late and watch the raccoons teeter on their bellies as they hang on the rim of the fountain to wash their paws in the trickling water.

I want to feel a cool night breeze on my face during a summer drive with my best friend. I want to go to concerts and end the night chilling in a hot tub, looking up at the stars. I want to take Alex on a camping trip because he’s never been. I want to wake up early, get donuts at Rudy’s and watch Saturday morning cartoons…then spend the afternoon playing tennis.
**sigh** I’ve come to the conclusion that I have lived an amazing life. I seriously had an ideal childhood and an ideal upbringing. Sure I’ve had my terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days…but nevertheless…I would not have traded it for anything. Thinking about all the wonderful things I like to do when I’m home makes it clear that I am purely and simply spoiled. That’s right! I’m one hundred percent spoiled and I thank the good LORD for it everyday. I have awesome friends, an amazing family and overwhelming privilege and opportunity to succeed in life.
Every time I have a bad day (or in this case, week) I think of where I came from and how I got to where I am. I feel totally guilty and like I’m festering with anger right now because I completely bombed my PSYCH final. It makes me more upset to try and explain why I bombed it…so I’m not going to go there. Let’s just say that I was not as prepared as I should have been. That class was awesome and I loved every moment of it…but I don’t think I retained all the facts I needed to have for the test. Praise the LORD that enter to Heaven isn’t based on a pass or fail exam.

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5 Responses to “”

  1. trademehalos says:

    You are ALMOST home! I’m so excited! Stick it out these last few hours and it will all be worth it to be able to play tennis, lounge in your pj’s all day long watching cartoons, and hanging out in the hot tub while star gazing. I miss you!

  2. hiptip27 says:

    Well after hearing what sounded like a “I have a dream speech” (only it was more of a “I want to” speech) I’m glad you see the good in life (some people just see the bad)
    I don’t beleive that you of all people would have a belly 😉

  3. valor says:

    Sorry it’s taken me SO LONG to catch up on reading all my friends LJs, but I wanted you to know that you are NOT alone in feeling like you bombed that final. everyone I talked to said it was the worst test ever. Even Rich Moore, the epitome of over-achieverness. BTW, did you do alright in the class?

  4. sarahmadson says:

    Re: hmm
    I did OK. I got a B. Yuck. But on the bright side, I loved that class. It was really interesting! Although, I know I could have done better if I had focused more on it. *sigh* But, you know…I guess the same could be said for any class. 🙂 How did you do in the class?

  5. valor says:

    Re: hmm
    Yeah, got a B+, and I still don’t know how that happened. Oh well, talk soon! We have a lot of catching up to do. When are you going to Ireland? err.. Scotland? err.. somewhere over in that land?

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