Esprit de l'escalier

It’s times like these that I wish I liked coffee. I’m soooooo tired. But alas, I have no pick-up. I need to tap some kind of stimulant…any suggestions? What do you do for a quick pick up?

Hello Friends!

I need your addresses ASAP so I can send you wedding invites! Please either email me, call me or post your address on a ‘me-only’ view. I’m screening comments (thanks for the tip Jon 🙂 Thanks so much!

I got to work this morning, went to put my lunch in the breakroom, opened the refrigerator and …surprise! My pasta and basil tomatoes are back.

Weirdness.

I think someone accidentally took home my pasta and basil tomatoes I left in the breakroom refrigerator yesterday.

Bummer…

In my Bible study the other night, Beth Moore said that we have been given God’s cell phone number. Naturally, I thought this was nonsense. But then she referenced where it was found in the Bible…

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jer. 33:3

Now I get it. Sweet.

Do you ever have one of those days where things feel a lot bigger than they really are? I’m not talking about trying on clothes after loosing weight or forgetting that ‘the objects in your review mirror are closer than they appear.’ I’m speaking situationally. This last week has been full of those days and today continues the tradition.

Quick catch up:
-For those that know my family and the issues therein, the plot is thickening…unnecessarily.
In summary, two members of my family made some poor decisions regarding their marriage and are now in the midst of finalizing a divorce. Aside from lack of communication, at the center of the mess were some emails.
These emails had been placed out in the open by the sender and receiver. They have asked for forgiveness and are attempting to move on…swimming in regret.
Now, for some reason, these emails, that I had no desire whatsoever to see, were mailed to me by another family member. I’d like to believe that they were sent with the best of intentions…perhaps in an effort to help me understand another side of the story. But I can’t help but feel that the sender is refusing to let the issue pass and is only trying to keep this person’s misery and regret alive and kicking.

It hurts so much when family clings to bitterness like this and tries to pass it on. Especially when the incriminating evidence can so easily be distroyed and forgotten. I feel like these emails are that kind of fodder. The guilty party has acknowledged his crime, asked forgiveness and is trying to move on. But how can they when the opposing side (not even the victim) refuses to let go and keeps proof of guilt locked away in their safe? It’s disgusting.

The reason I started out by saying this seemed like a situation that felt bigger than it was is because as I try to step back and look at it from a distance, I have a feeling it’s not that complicated.
I know that when I finally call the person who sent me these emails, I will need a great deal of wisdom. I know I can easily be persuaded and may loose sight of the real issues.
To cut to the core of it…I’m freakin’ scared. I haven’t a clue what I’ll say. The communication is clouded with ‘he said, she said’ dialoge and pre-concieved notions of guilt and ‘hollier than thou’ attitudes. I feel really bad throwing out labels like that, but I needed to identify this beast before approaching it.

Please pray for me, that God will give me wisdom, compassion and the right words to say what needs to be said.

Now, time to take Ricochet to the vet! It’ll be his first visit and I pray so hard that he’ll check out as being as healthy as they come. He and Izabelle have been bonding so nicely and I don’t know if I’d survive loosing either one of them.

Pre-marriage counceling with John and Julie was so much fun last night! I am thankful beyond words for their wisdom and support. I’m really excited to see where God leads us through this. 🙂 (more thoughts on this later.)

I haven’t heard anything back from the women in my Bible study about taking the dinner train to celebrate the end of our latest study. I’m thinking it’s too expensive. (But I might still take Kyle on the dinner train for his birthday…he seemed really interested.)
Speaking of the love of my life….we might be bringing home a kitten tomorrow! Kyle went to a shelter in Seattle today during his lunch break and looked at some kittens I had put on hold the day before. He liked one of them enough to put him on hold for me to check him out tomorrow. I told Kyle that I’d get him the one he wanted as a birthday present (and if that’s what happens I’ll save the dinner train for another year.)

So that’s what’s happening in the world of kittens. As far as wedding stuff…Miranda called me the other day and said she couldn’t be a bridesmaid because she knew her school work load would be too heavy. I was really upset at first, but God calmed my heart. I can understand her fear of overloading herself. She felt so bad and explained how she felt put between a rock and a hard place. I still love her dearly and know she would do it if she could.

I’ve invited one of my co-workers to church this Sunday. I’m not entirely sure of his faith background, but he has been asking questions. So I’ve arranged for him to meet Kyle, Michelle and I at Illuminate this Sunday. Please pray that God will give all of us wisdom to be good examples and pray that God would open his heart if it’s His will.

So that’s it for now. I’m off to the Mariner game. A co-worker had some extra tickets that he gave us. I was really torn though because I wanted to go to W Movie night. It’s getting to the end of the alphabet and I’ve missed so many letters! And I miss my friends! (Movie friends! If you’re reading this, I really miss you and I hope we can hang out soon!)

I swear the guy came out of nowhere. I was just pulling into the parking lot at work when I saw the lights behind me. The worst part was: my license was expired, I just got the car last month so I didn’t have any registration or insurance and I honestly couldn’t remember if my tabs were current.
The policeman walked up and I opened my door. The scene was just like in the movies…”Do you know how fast you were going?”
“No. Isn’t that road a 40 zone?”
“48 in a 35. Can I see your license and registration.”
“Well, I just got the car and my license just expired on my b-day last week. The new one is in the mail.”
“Close your door. I’ll be right back.” *growl*
I don’t know if it was my fear, my shock or if he was really as big and mean as I thought. And I could swear I felt several eyes watching the whole thing.
Thankfully my license checked out online and he assumed my registration and insurance were to follow. Otherwise, the bill might have been over $800. He just decided to tag me $175 for speeding. How nice of him.
So, despite my best efforts I was still late to work. Well, technically I wasn’t late…I was in the parking lot.
I walked into the office and was greeted my many humored faces.
“Were those whirly birds for you?”
“yeah.”
*laughing*
All day I endured teasing because EVERYONE saw. They all have windows facing the parking lot. Apparently flashing lights attract attention. Go figure.
Mr. Whirly-bird-comment guy (also known as Jim) had the most fun with my misfortune. As I was assembling information in the hallway, he passed by to the break room. He turned around just as he passed and said, “Two things came to mind as I passed you just then. The Mazda commercial with the *whispering* zoom zoom and the movie “Need for Speed.” *self-amused chuckle*
I just smiled and said something like “Now be nice to the new girl.” In my head I wanted to look at him and say in a sweet voice, “Well thank you for sharing what’s really on your mind, Jim. I appreciate that.” *biting sarcasm*
Darla, my immediate boss, was a lot more forgiving. “Honey, I had four speeding tickets and an accident before I was 21. The only way I was able to clear my record was to go to college for two years and leave my sweet car at home.” Then she reassured me that I need not worry about being late, I should just remember to always be safe.

This morning I left for work early and drove so slowly it hurt. Conveniently the court house is just down the street so I can walk there during lunch and pay my overly priced ticket. That’s what I get for having California plates.

The more time I spend at this job the more I see why God put me here. The stress level is almost non-existent and the people I work with are so nice! The respect around the office is amazing and although I still have a lot to learn, my co-workers are endlessly patient.
Most, if not all, of my time is spent with Darla. It’s scary how much we have in common. For example, I was looking for a wallpaper to personalize my computer and I came across a 4400 pic. I ran into her office and was like, “Who’s the 4400 fan?” And she said casually, “Oh, that’s me…I’m sort of a Sci-fi geek.” Ohmygosh, speak to my heart! haha.
She’s also a Christian and oddly enough we’ve gone through some of the same Bible studies. I’m totally thriving on the encouragement.

Also, because of the relaxed pace of this job, I feel my writing instinct slowly coming back. Just today, during lunch break, I had the strongest writing urge come over me while I was reading a book. It was beautiful!
The best part is…my creative juices are flowing for art work as well! Who knows what great works of art might come from this job!

In other news, tonight we’re having a bbq at Kyle’s house. I’m excited because this will be the first time many of these friends have seen the place. I hope Kyle had a chance to clean.

Also, Mansen Jennings last night was awesome! Best concert I’ve been to in a while.

I got to hang with Miranda last night and finally give her her b-day gift. I’ve missed that girl so much! And to be back in Robbins…wow, that brought back memories. It still has the same stale musk and random piles of old furniture in the hallways. Oddly enough, I missed the place and felt at home standing out on the balcony trying to get cell service.

Miranda and I made tacos and hung out with a few drop ins. There was a guy loitering in the hallways playing his guitar and we invited him in to have dinner with us. He said he was waiting for a friend but came in and sat down. Not long after, his friend came by and joined us. It was beautiful. We were singing and cooking as he played guitar and we had great conversation over dinner.

Later, Miranda tried on the bridesmaids dresses I brought. She looked great! Hopefully I’ll have all the girls’ measurements by the end of this week so I can order the dresses!
Then we got comfy, with some bowls of cookie dough ice cream and watched MST3K. It was so much fun. I always laugh hard when I’m with Miranda.

In other news, I got a job yesterday. I went in for an interview through Adecco and a couple hours later they called me and asked me to start Wed! Woo hoo! The company is stationed in Redmond only 11 min. from my apartment and I’ll be working as a receptionist. Super easy work for 13 an hour. Praise the Lord. And it’s for only 2 months so I don’t have to worry about crunch time before the wedding. The company is called I-Level (formerly known as Trust Joist) a Weyerhauser company. They deal in wood. I like wood. I think we’ll get along just fine.

Tonight my roommate and I are going to the Masen Jennings concert at the Showbox. We’re meeting up with Kyle and some of his friends. I’m excited. I haven’t been to a concert in a while and I’m anxious to spend some quality time with Michelle as much as possible now that our work schedules are going to be completely different now. *sniffle* I’ll hardly ever get to see her!

It’ll take a lot of hard work. But I’m going to make it work out for us. Plus, now we have weekends together! I can’t wait to go camping this weekend!

Any suggestions on where we should go?