Today I realized something about myself. I am really grossed out by ads and commercails for things involving toenails. Like those toenail fungus ads where those little goblin bacteria monsters are crawling under people’s toenails and digging at their skin. *shivers* Gives me the creeps. Yuck.
Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. The End.
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=5046343&Mytoken=20050222140811
“…it is not news that we live in a world
Where beauty is unexplainable
And suddenly ruined
And has its own routines. We are often far
From home in a dark town, and our griefs
Are difficult to translate into a language
Understood by others.”
-Charlie Smith
As much as I wish I could take credit for this wonderful story, I shall give credit where credit is due. It was written by my friend Hillary. “Brilliant story Hillary! Cheers and kudos!”
Enjoy, Friends!
Tonight I could be on my way to, what may very well be, the coolest concert EVER. But no. Not so much. I have my silly Falcon meeting at the same time!!! Grrr…I wanted to go to the Bright Eyes concert soooo bad. I haven’t been to a concert in a while. It’s been too long. Stupid meetings. I would totally skip but I missed the last meeting because I was sick. And, being an editor an’ all…I sorta HAVE to be there. *sigh* Se la vie.
I almost made it through yesterday. But then I came to a point where I didn’t have to think about anything else. My day just stopped and there was nothing to hold back all the things I was trying not to think about. Because I knew it would be hard not to cry.
So when that happened I went on a walk. I know I’m not supposed to go on walks late at night by myself, but no one was there to tell me I couldn’t. I walked the path we used to take – toward the 7/11 when we’d go to get hot chocolate and slurpees. It was cold and I felt odd because no one was there trying to make me take their sweatshirt. It was weird not having anyone to fight.
I thought a lot about you, but I was glad I was able to spend v-day by myself. I just hope you weren’t alone. If you told me you were I would tell you I think you’re lying.
Last night I went on a date with God and the stars were His valentine to me. He knew that’s just what I wanted. He also gave me just what I needed. He told me He loved me and that He’d never leave me. I told Him I was sorry for all the terrible things I had done to hurt Him and He forgave me. His forgiveness reminded me of you – how you always forgave me. I started talking with Him about last year and He told me not to worry, that He was taking care of you. I felt better. I had prayed He would.
This whole arrangement…how relationships work…is a funny concept to me. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I care for people. I care for people a lot and this has gotten me in trouble.
Valentine’s Day hurts. But once I remember the unrelenting love of God, my friends and family, I feel better. I’m still very confused, but at least I feel loved.
One question seems to always present itself around this time of year. Why, if you care so much about someone, would you want to hurt them? That’s all I want to know. Why would you want to make someone feel bad? Guilt is a terrible gift to give on Valentine’s Day.
Sorry if I haven’t responded to any messages. I have been bed ridden with some anomaly of a bug. A really bad one. Those of you who know me know that it must be the equivalent of the West Nile virus or the plague because I don’t go down easy. And I went down pretty hard on the cold tile of the university clinic yesterday. Ouch. It’s been a week now and this is the first time I’ve checked my messages. Sorry friends. Please know that I haven’t forgotten you.
