I almost made it
I almost made it through yesterday. But then I came to a point where I didn’t have to think about anything else. My day just stopped and there was nothing to hold back all the things I was trying not to think about. Because I knew it would be hard not to cry.
So when that happened I went on a walk. I know I’m not supposed to go on walks late at night by myself, but no one was there to tell me I couldn’t. I walked the path we used to take – toward the 7/11 when we’d go to get hot chocolate and slurpees. It was cold and I felt odd because no one was there trying to make me take their sweatshirt. It was weird not having anyone to fight.
I thought a lot about you, but I was glad I was able to spend v-day by myself. I just hope you weren’t alone. If you told me you were I would tell you I think you’re lying.
Last night I went on a date with God and the stars were His valentine to me. He knew that’s just what I wanted. He also gave me just what I needed. He told me He loved me and that He’d never leave me. I told Him I was sorry for all the terrible things I had done to hurt Him and He forgave me. His forgiveness reminded me of you – how you always forgave me. I started talking with Him about last year and He told me not to worry, that He was taking care of you. I felt better. I had prayed He would.
