Blah blah blah day

I went with Michelle to her friend’s house for her mom’s birthday last night. It was fun, we had homemade pizza, wine and all the Bailey’s Irish cream we could ever want. We watched “Waking Ned Devine” and Michelle gave me a tour of the house in which she showed me a beautiful antique roll top secretary desk (complete with secret drawer) which I heartily admired. It was a lovely party and I had no trouble at all finding my way home either! Yay! I’m starting to think I’m not as directionally challenged as I once thought.

The office is empty today. I forgot that they switched back to closing the office on Fridays. *sigh* It’s so quiet. I suppose I could be using this time to finish editing the book to get it ready for the meeting Monday. But for some reason I just don’t feel very motivated. So it goes.

On the way to the office today I had a brilliant (but still ridiculous) idea. As I was trapped behind a silver Escalade going 23 miles/hour in a 40 zone, it occured to me that before I start fuming and shaking my fists, making obviously frustrated hand gestures that would convey an unmistakable message clearly seen in their rear-view mirror, perhaps there is a reason for their slowness. I mean, I know that I drive unusually slow, even in 40 zones, when I have my fish Nessi in the car. I drove the exact speed limit with all my senses at full attention when I was bringing the kittens home from the vet. So perhaps this person was carting a full fish tank, or some other cherished treasure that was making them go teeth-grindingly slow.
Then I thought, “you know what would be nice? Something that would clear the confusion. I don’t always want to assume that this person has a valid reason for holding up traffic. What if he is just plain stupid? What if they are ‘speed sign blind’? I have to assume that’s an actual condition because let’s be honest, who actually goes slower than 40 when they know it’s a 40 zone?” So, I thought it would be a good idea to market electric signs for the rear car window. That way a person could program in a statement that would scroll across the sign informing the person behind them of why they are driving the way they are.
Let’s put this into context. You’re on the highway and a minivan cuts you off in the fast lane and then suddenly slows down. Irritating. Then you see their statement scroll across the sign in their back window…”Sorry for eratic driving. Late to soccer game and dance class. May slow down at random to reach back and break up sibling fight.” There you go. Perfectly understandable explaination and now I don’t feel so angry at their actions. I know they’re suffering a far worse punishment from the wrath of sibling rivalry.
Now, a more likely situation? Some idiot is weaving through traffic at 90 miles/ hour and is now riding your bumper. You signal and pull into the right lane to let him pass. When he does, you see his sign as he goes by…”Just an idiot with no awareness of anyone else on earth besides myself. I think my car is cooler than yours. So that makes me better than you.”
Self-explainitory. Well, naturally this new invention would be abused as some people would lie and others would get distracted my the flashy, scrolling lights and crash. But hey, this could simply be another way of weeding out the idiots who shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car anyway!

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One Response to “Blah blah blah day”

  1. Sign that would be seen often:
    ‘Sorry about my annoying driving habits; I’m busy reading people’s signs.’
    And then there will be ten million Honda Civics sporting:
    ‘2 1337 4U LOL BUTZ ROTFL LOL!!!!!!!!1one’
    Though that does bring to mind a cool short story that I read a while back about a possible future where federal highways were declared lawless. All cars roamed about with armor and big guns, and people just dueled each other on the highways. The story was about a father who brought his cadiLlac out of retirement to hunt down a ‘Red Baron’ of sorts that had killed his son. He had twin machine guns and an anti-tank gun mounted on his car, but in the end, he had to resort to the land-mine hidden behind his taillight. The guy almost had him beat, then he swerved in front, hit the button, and the mine popped out and blew up under the other guy’s car. It was a surprisingly suspenseful story, despite its silly concept. Just thought I’d share that. If we start letting silly people write silly things, it could all lead to chaos.
    That having been said, who out there hasn’t wanted to put a sign in their back window saying ‘QUIT TAILGATING ME!!’

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