Esprit de l'escalier

If I had a moment, what would I do?
Strapped for time, so much for that
What is my time? How much is it worth?
Can I really say that I don’t have enough time for a person?
How do I justify that?
Equating a person’s life…
is impossible.

If I had a moment, what would I do?
Lord knows, there’s nothing
nothing more cost effective
more worth the time
than spending it on you.

Time is a currency
non-returnable
why does everything have to be financial
It’s a language all its own
in this country, this world
I’m hardly fluent

If time is a currency
then the ones who live in poverty
the ones we should be saving
are ourselves
Ironic as it is
being in college
I’m in debt fiscally
being paid by the hour
the hour I just spent.
spending one to get the other?
how does that work out?
not so well

Given one more moment with you
what would you say to me
had I let it go longer
had I stretched out this
minute
the second before I hung up
you were about to say
something
what was that?
Or did I kill that thought
with the moment I stole from you
just a second ago
what ran behind your eyes
just before I said goodnight
and closed the door
Was that thought for me?
I am sorry
I turned down your gift
but I just had to move
I couldn’t stay still
with so so much to do
busy doing whatever I was doing
in that moment I could have spent with you

why sleep, why eat?
is it really cost effective
in the realm of time currency?
It’s like I’m saving my pennies
my moments
to use them up all at once
in one great day of freedom
packed with all I had been waiting to do
but now I’m too busy
doing those things
I had waited to do
that now I can’t enjoy them
because I regret now
that I can’t do them with you

If I had a moment
a single moment to spend
O, the things I could do.
But now
I feel foolish because
I’ve just used it
thinking of all that I could do
with the moment I had
that I could have spent
with you.