Ah…how I miss my “ministry news” emails…here’s the last one I got

I bet you never thought you’d be getting one of these this summer. Well, joke’s on you. Actually a few of you thought it would be a fun idea if I sent another one out, and since I’m easily manipulated, here it is. But joke’s still on you .
At this point in the email I usually offer spiritual wisdom and advice on a wide variety of important topics. But I’m no longer an SMC, so I have lost that ability. Yes, my friends, now that I have become a PA, I only have words of warning and rule enforcement that I have been commissioned to relay. And quite frankly, who wants to hear those ?
On with the email!

Verse of the Summer:
“Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer , but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
1 Peter 3:10-12

News Item that May Interest Only Me:
Police say they have launched a hunt for thieves who stole a 5 foot tall model of friendly green ogre Shrek —star of the blockbuster animated movie. In related news, I’m now unlisted in the phone book and staying at a friend’s house .

Odds and Ends:
My family is going to the Oregon coast this week for a family vacation…which means my parents are going to pay for everything. Yay for family vacations!!
School starts again in September, and while nerds everywhere are buying books and doing readings to get prepared for the first day, I’m getting my story straight. What story, you ask? The story about my summer. Thus far, I have saved a daycare from an onrushing stampede of cattle; I entered the World’s Strongest Man competition and took second place to a guy I SWEAR was on the ‘roids; I went on a missionary journey in the mountains of central Asia and found Osama bin Laden; and I solved a Rubik’s cube in 2 minutes and 13 seconds. Now when the inevitable sharing time comes on the first day of classes (or is that just in communication classes; I don’t know), I’ll not only be the most prepared, I’ll also be the coolest. And compared to saving children, winning the war with terrorism, and being a genius, being cool is the only thing that matters .
That last odd and end was really long .
I was perusing the campus calendar, as I often do when I am feeling disconnected from campus, and I found some events that you guys might want to take note of. 1. Friday is early registration for freshmen and transfers. Also known as the time when the 8:00 classes and intro to sociology fill up. 2. The first week of August there is a high school girl’s volleyball camp at Royal Brougham, where, rumor has it, the winner gets to play the Robbins intramural volleyball team. 3. There is a yearbook workshop on August 11. Seminars will include “The secret to fitting too many photos on one page,” “Teachers: do they belong?,” “‘The Time of Our Lives’ and other cheesy titles,” and “How to make sure that the popular kids get featured more than anyone else .”
Have a great rest of the summer.
Keep cool .
Adopt a pet .
Plant a tree .
Give to a charity .

Prizes for the person who finds a grammatical error in this email!

And remember…

Stay classy , Robbins.


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One Response to “Ah…how I miss my “ministry news” emails…here’s the last one I got”

  1. harmony_joy says:

    WOW! Now I feel like a nerd…

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