Funny Foward

Newspaper headlines in the year 2035

> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
> country in the world, California.
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California’s
> third language.
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> Baby conceived naturally…. Scientists stumped.
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
> Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)
> Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more
> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
> President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
> delivery to Wednesday only.
> 35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers, fly
> swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to
> campaign accounts.
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
> Florida Democrats still don’t know how to use a voting machine.
> -#-

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2 Responses to “Funny Foward”

  1. tikijam says:

    hehe that made me smile, and i needed that 🙂

  2. That was funny, Sarah! Hehe. ^_^

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