The discussion continues..

And it serves me right for typing out my response at 3:30am. I think I got shot down…bummer.

alright I couldn’t help but push reply when I started reading about ICor.7 but before I begin a tirade on ICor.7 I’ll behave and read on… just a minute oh but before I do look at ICor.7:1 in the Greek!! or at least the King James. we are not talking about the God ordained institution of marriage in ICor.7:1 we are talking about something Marvin Gay would sing about but hold on I am going to keep reading…

wow, Sarah that was really something. I am not sure if I can respond to this with an email. These issues get to the core of who you are before God and who He has created you to be. One word of caution: do not deny who you were created to be. that is my intent in affirming my need for a wife… it is part of who I was created to be… It is a desire but it is not merely a desire.. it is a need in my perspective. Let me ask you some questions. Do you need affirmation? Do you need support? Do you need love? (I know I cheated on this list but keep going) I think you do and I think that each of these things should only be provided to you in the man-woman sense by your father as you grow up and by your husband once you become a woman. I think it is dangerous and harmful when we allow these needs to be met outside of a marriage type relationship or act as if we did not need them when we do. I have seen guys become hurt deeply when they meet these needs for a woman who does not want to commit to them but still naturally accepts these things from them. I believe that this is part of the calling for some of these guys but I urge you, Sarah, to consider whether you need these things and consider who should provide these things for you. You asked if I think you are out of line. I think you are if you seek and get these things from men other than your father while at the same time not offering them your commitment and love in return. This is where I think that it would be an issue of pride and this is where I think that you would hurt others. If you are called to singleness then you will be able to live without getting this affirmation, love and support from a man or you will be given grace to live without these needs met and in this sense your needs will be met. I believe that this is part of the doctrine of providence. I firmly believe that YHWH jireh (Gen.22) is seeing to all of my needs and that even though I do not have a wife that I have what I need. Just like Matt.6 says, all I need to do is seek first His kingdom and righteousness and all of my needs will be taken care of. Sarah, I know that God has met my needs and that He has given me everything that I need to prosper according to His sovereign will in TX. My goal is to become one of the best pilots in the world and if He so wills I will become one even without the support of a wife… I have done fine thus far and I know by His grace I’ll keep on kickin butt in whatever he brings my way.. however, I know that at the basic level of my creation as a man, I do need a wife. This is not even a question in my mind.

I am glad that you are wrestling with the question of pride. Submission comes hard to all of us because in various ways all of God’s children are called to submit and I know that the idea of submission to a man is hard for you as it is for all women since Gen.3:16 but I believe it is thoroughly biblical and has powerful lessons to teach us about each of our’s relationship to God.

LORD bless you, Sarah, and if I missed any points that you want to talk out further just let me know and I’ll come out swinging… preferably before tomorrow morning… oh yeah, context is key to ICor.7. if you feel you are in a time of crisis and should remain unmarried that is one thing, but just do not deny who you have been created as and what season of life you are in. I still think Sarah Xxxxxx needs a strong man in her life and I still think your Dad would agree, but I would never suggest that you should allow a man between you and your loving Father God. You should have a man who’s heart’s desire is to see you become closer to God every moment.

LORD bless,

Wow, I’m sad that you’re leaving! I want to continue our discussion!
I guess my thinking could all come down to one question. Would God create us to NEED anyone other than Him? I mean, I don’t want to go second guessing the LORD or go saying that I’m so privileged as to know His will…but isn’t that the point of what the Bible tells us? That we do not NEED anything other than the LORD God. It’s humbling to say, but you may be onto something when you point out that I need someone eventually. As I’ve been praying and having my quiet times the LORD has slowly been wearing me down to accept the fact that I am not self sufficient. He’s shown me that He can love me through other people as well. His love can be found in many people around us.
All Scripture aside, I have come to the conclusion that my gripe came with the fact that someone I hadn’t known very long was telling me what I needed. I mean, it wasn’t that it was you Josh, it could have been anybody and I would have had the same knee-jerk reaction, you know? It was simply the fact that some guy was telling me that I was created for nothing more than ‘needing’ and ‘serving’ a man. I have never had issues with submission…but for some strange reason I’ve had issues with someone ‘telling’ me that that is my soul purpose in life…especially when they haven’t known me as long as some other people. Serving a man I love would be a wonderful life (as long as the service and love were mutual) but I’ve often found myself dreaming of something more. I’ve dreamed of being someone noteworthy and memorable, like any of the women in the Bible. Debora for example, or (one of my all time favorites) Ruth…I mean, any woman in the Bible. I know it’s silly to think like that, but I can’t help but wonder if I was meant to do something greater than sit at home, cleaning and waiting for my life to walk in the door at 5:30 PM every evening, beaten down from a hard day’s work and too tired to talk or notice that I may have cooked his favorite meal or that I got a new dress just to look better for him. Is the purpose of life really so mundane? Perhaps I am making it sound worse than it really is simply for the sake of making my argument sound better…but no matter how you look at it in the grand scheme of things…I can’t help but think twice. What it comes down to is this, I guess I’m so taken with the little things that I can’t appreciate that type of life until I’ve experienced the details that make it something I’d appreciate. For example, I’m sure there would be little arens that I’d have to do everyday or perhaps I’d have a job to fill my time as opposed to sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. I don’t think it’s necessarily an issue of pride that is making this so difficult as much as it’s that I’ve been told all my life that I had the ability to become something great. That I had all this opportunity just waiting for me to pursue. Would the LORD plant dreams in our heads and passion in our hearts for something He didn’t intend for us to pursue?

Ok, I think I’m done venting. Ha-ha. I just want to take this last opportunity to thank you for being strong in who you are and for indulging me in such silly conversations. I call them silly because one way or another they are not going to change how the good LORD works in my life…they are just fun and enlightening conversations. 🙂 Anyway, I can’t wait to hear how the LORD will work through you as you continue to pursue your dream of dominating the skies and defending our country. I know you will do it well. Take care Josh and may the LORD continue to bless you with wisdom and insight. You have my prayers.

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” -Colossians 2:6-7.

*Ah, my Beloved, fill the Cup that clears
Today of past Regrets and future fears:
Tomorrow!- Why, Tomorrow I may be
Myself with Yesterday’s Sev’n thousand years.

-The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, p.15 XXI

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2 Responses to “The discussion continues..”

  1. nertles says:

    “I can’t help but wonder if I was meant to do something greater than sit at home…”
    I agree with you 100%. It seems pretty clear that Paul is suggesting that it is often preferable for people not to get married, and that it is in fact God’s will for some. Out of curiousity I looked up a commentary written by Calvin (not that I’m a huge fan) on the subject, and he argued that marriage was 100% good/necessary pre-fall, but afterwards it was so screwed up that sometimes avoiding it all together was preferable.
    I’m not qualified to give it, but my advice is to keep paying attention to that feeling that makes you wary of gender stereotypes, because I think it might be the holy spirit. Equality rules!

  2. sarahmadson says:

    Amen to that! Thanks for your encouragement and thoughts!

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