Esprit de l'escalier

Hooray for the smart blonde! *patting self on the back* I figured I’d simply post the entire picture as my icon for a while and not change it until everyone has had a chance to view it and voice their opinion. (Assuming they care…whatever)

Well, I discovered this morning that a lot of people I know already have livejournals. It was a nice suprise. I also learned from one of my Bible study girls that there was an article in the paper last month about the LiveJournal site. I didn’t know this was such a big trend. hmmm, I don’t like being too trendy…oh well.

I only have less than a week left here at home. Then it’s back to Seattle with me! I’m kind of anxious, but nervous at the same time. I want to go…but I don’t..you know?
I’m experiencing that weird feeling again…it’s as though life is an ill fitting suit…it touches me everywhere but fits nowhere.

I brought the bettas to work this morning. I figured, my brother doesn’t want them anymore and he doesn’t take care of them…so I’ll give them to someone who will appreciate them. So I gave them to Betti, a fellow office employee. She loves them and even though I will miss them…I can rest easy knowing that they are being taken care of. Besides, I still have Jimmy!

It’s such a strange time. How is it that life can be so happy and so sad at the same time? It’s like one of those analogies: ice and steam are two different things, but at the same time they are both still water. Trippy. I’m so happy right now looking back on the wonderful and exciting summer I had…but I’m sad that I have to leave again…I’m frustrated with boys, and yet I really love and appreciate the ones that are a part of my life right now. I love my beautiful home in California…but I’m excited to go back to Seattle and continue building my new life away from home. I love my best friend and I don’t want to leave her…and…there’s no flip side to that…I still don’t want to leave her. I love my kitty cats and I don’t want to leave them….but I certainly won’t miss the litter box or the gross nasty bathroom floor! I could go on and on. But I’ll spare you the time.
I look forward to changes…but I miss all that is familiar. My stomach flips at the odd feeling of misplacement…Lord be with me as I find my way in life and discover the path You have set out before me.