Esprit de l'escalier

Yes, that’s right…I’ve come to another conclusion. I’m fickle. Honest, I think I’m fickle. And it bugs me. Today was kinda weird. I woke up late and I was super bummed about that because my brother left me and went to my grandma’s without me. *grrrr* He’s such a PUNK!!!! I’m still mad about it. Anyhow, I dragged myself downstairs and sat in the living room in my pjs with my kitties and had cake for breakfast. It made me feel a little bit better. Then I got ready and drove all the way to my grandma’s house to find out that they were’nt there. I called and he wasn’t picking up his phone….blah blah blah. I was getting pretty angry by this point. So I decided I needed to sit and chill. I sat on a little bench in my grandma’s front yard and enjoyed the scenery of the sunshine and the birds. My grandma lives in a really really really super nice retirment place called Rosmoore. It’s gorgious. I would describe it but that would just turn this into another long entry that nobody would want to read simply because it was long. After a while I finally got a hold of my brother and they were just leaving church and we decided to meet up at In N Out. We had lunch there (adding to the wonderful diet I started the morning off with). From there, my brother and Heather suddenly had ‘arens’ to run and they ditched out on us even though we were supposed to go and see my aunt and uncles new house that they are building. I didn’t want to skip out on my grandma so I volunteered to take her over there. It was fun to see my aunt Lisa again. Everybody at church calls me Lisa because I look just like she did when she was my age. We always have fun together. She showed me around the place. Their plot of land is 1900 acres. It’s huge and the plans they have for it are amazing. They’re building this huge house with a sport court, pool, guest house, paintball range with bunkers and the works! It’s going to be gorgious. That’ll have to be a whole other entry as well. So today was fun and my mood changed as soon as my brother was out of the picture. Then I got home after dropping my grandma off and I am not really feeling in the mood to talk to him. He knows I’m mad at him and he acts like nothing is wrong. He’s been pulling antics like this all week and I just take it. Why do I take it? I’m such a doormat! I just let people walk all over me. Is that wrong? Aren’t I supposed to be passive and forgiving? I dunno. In a lot of ways I think it might be a good thing. I mean, I’m still friends with all the guys I’ve dated and we even still hang out on occasion. I suppose it’s better than being bitter for the rest of my life. Whatever, I’m not going to fester inside about it. I’m tired, it’s been a long day. I think I’m going to finish this up later…hmmm nap time.