Esprit de l'escalier

As I was preparing to paint our guest room a thought struck me. I was laughing to myself about how my husband doesn’t like painting. The reason this was funny is because I didn’t find out until recently when I was painting the office. I asked for his help and he suddenly had some stuff to take care of in the garage. With a dashing smile, he said something to the effect of, “I guess that’s why I married a painter.”

So he married me for my painting skills. Well, two can play at that game. I began mentally cataloging ways my husband is useful to me. You might think this is harsh…but I mean it in the most loving way. Those of you who know me personally, know without a doubt that Kyle is the love of my life. But beyond love, moral support, a consistent paycheck and someone to bring me breakfast in bed every morning…I feel like there may be some subconscious reasons I chose this man to spend the rest of my life with.

Let’s be honest, there are people out there who marry for money, status or any number of reasons. Well, I married for love…and a little help around the house. When I was single I used to hear my friends’ moms suggest dating doctors or lawyers. My mom always told me that while doctors and lawyers are all fine and good…the nerds are the ones worth fighting for. I now understand her logic.

A doctor might have been nice when I was fighting a cold last week, but I’ve never encountered enough legal trouble to warrant having a lawyer around. My mom was right, I married an engineering nerd and I never have to worry about electrical or computer stuff ever again! (Some may argue that my mom’s logic was probably more along the lines of compatibility due to the fact that I am a nerd, but let’s just set that aside for now to consider my present theory). Sure you could marry a rich guy and just outsource these domestic challenges to the professionals…but why bother when you could just marry the professional and have that service available to you 24/7?

With this in mind, I’d like to suggest all the single ladies add one more prerequisite to their lists when considering a guy: what do you need that you can’t acquire on your own?

Do you like horses? Maybe you should marry an equestrian…then you’d have access to all the horses and riding facilities you could ever want. Perhaps you aren’t really a great cook…marry a chef! Think of the health benefits of marrying a nurse or a nutritionist. I’m sure there are many girls who wish they had married a plumber…imagine the savings! Plumbers are expensive. My aunt married a contractor and now has the house of her dreams.

This strategy is similar to the one I had for finding a job in high school. Where did I spend a lot of my time? I played tennis a lot…so I took a job as a tennis instructor at a health club. I also liked A & F clothing….so I worked there for the discount.

Many girls dream of the guy they will marry when they are young. Personally, I was never really drawn to the knights in shining armor or guys like Zack from Saved By The Bell. So who were my crushes? Well, MacGyver was at the top of my list as well as Indiana Jones.  I may not have married a world-saving agent of the Pheonix Foundation or an adventure seeking archeologist…but I found a guy who can fix just about anything and is willing to listen to any crazy adventure I try to turn into a novel.