Esprit de l'escalier

How to sum up the past few weeks? It’s a huge task that I’m too tired to take on right now, so I’ll just go over the events that I remember off the top of my head. Last night I went and saw Batman with Lance. It was a good movie. I give it thumbs up. Cassie…Christian Bale is hot stuff! I hope you enjoyed the scenery as much as I did! he he. Plus, it was great to catch up with Lance. I miss that guy and it’s encouraging to hear all the wonderful things God is doing in his life.
Loreanne’s wedding is coming up and the more I think about it the more excited and anxious I get at the thought of my best friend being wisked away to the land of newly weds. *sigh* I already miss her. I’ve been working on my best friend speach for the wedding for a while now. It’s impossible to capture everything I want to say in a single essay. I have a ways to go before it’s perfected.
Graduation was beyond words. I think it’s going to take a while before the actualness of the event sinks in. Expect more on this later.
I will admit right now that I cried. My roommate has been trying to get me to surrender to tears for a long time now. But it wasn’t graduating, or leaving my safe SPU community that made me break down, it was a single card that I got from my kindergarten and first grade teacher Mrs. Davis. She’s been keeping tabs on me ever since I moved on to second grade. What an amazing woman she is. She has had the greatest impact on my life in shaping who I am today. She’s the one who got me started journaling, drawing and she taught me how to read and write. She introduced me to the friends I would go through elementary and jr. high school with. This woman epitomizes the impact teachers have to shape lives and love children. She sent me a card for my high school graduation and I thought that was amazing so I wrote her back. I never received a response but she explained to me in the most recent card that she couldn’t write back because her husband had cancer and she was battling it with him until the end. By the time he passed away she felt silly writing a response so late. Just reading about that brought me to tears. I locked myself in my room and just wept for a few minutes while my parents were eating reheated pizza and my roommate was packing. I knew they would understand. I was planting flowers in the garden today and I thought about putting one in a pot and driving over to her house to thank her in person. But I started worrying that maybe an unannounced visit wasn’t the best way to say thank you. She’s probably about 90-something now and I wouldn’t want to upset any routines she may have in place to make living easier. So instead I’ve started composing another more elaborate letter this time. I want so much for her to know how much of an impact she’s had on making me who I am today. Every teacher should have the satisfaction of knowing they played an important part in the success of their students. Victory should be shared.
In other news, I tried on my grandma’s prom dress today. I found it in a box of stuff that she passed on to me when she was cleaning out her house to move to a new home. It was funny how well it fit. Almost like it was made for me. I felt old wearing it. The smell made me feel cultured and wise somehow, like I had suddenly gained a knowledge of my history that I hadn’t realized before. It was a full skirt and I remembered stories my grandma had told me of how she used to sneak out and go dancing at night with her friends. How fun would that be! “Back then, boys knew how to dance as well as they knew how to eat,” my grandma would tell me. What a wonderful time that must have been! She also gave me her wedding dress, some photos, a jewelry box with all sorts of wonderful necklaces and scarf ties. I feel humbled and sad accepting these treasures. I’m humbled that she chose me to pass them on to, and I feel sad that she feels the need to start distributing inheritance. I just found out tonight that she fell and broke her left ankle last week. Nobody told me before because they didn’t want to upset me before graduation. Although, I think I would have rather known that than wonder why she didn’t come and see me walk.
In the same breath as she used to tell me that grandma isn’t feeling so well, my Aunt also started telling me about this painter guy she wants to hook me up with. *sigh* My heart grows tight when my family starts bringing up the whole “gentlemen suitors” thing. Sometimes I feel inadaquate or unhealthy when I think of my relational status. Then I remember the wise words of my grandma that she used to say whenever she heard a relative giving me a hard time. “The more patient you are the more ripe they’ll be for the pickin'” Thank you grandma, I love you so much! My grandma was in her early 30s when she settled down. I hope I’m not that far along in years by the time I get married, but I’d rather be old and be happy with the right person than be young and struggling to love the wrong person. Someday my prince will come and hopefully by that time I’ll be a suitable princess. But until then, I’m a solo career climbing woman and the ladder is tall! Lord be with my friends, family and future these coming weeks. Prepare us all to achieve the tasks you’ve laid out for us and to do them to the best of our ability and to your glory. Amen.