Valentine from Jared…
*on the front of the letter it had two blue Hawaiian shirt-shaped post-it notes that said – “Happy Valentine’s Day – great friend of mine. Affectionatly yours – Jared” “P.S. thought you might like the poem – I know the rhyme is elementary.” and “Those petals are white and yellow with red tips – in case you cannot tell by the time you get them.” [with the letter in the envelope there are a bunch of rose petals and tiny origomy cranes]*
“I get it now, you want to make things hard for me to see if I am really serious – you can’t trust me. Some would run away (in my shoes), but while you are unsure about me – I am certain of you, and of myself. I will wait – you will know me before the end and we will be happy together.
You’re right – I’m seeking affirmation that I thought I already had. That kiss was affirmation enough for me. You can’t let go because you have been burned. So I will wait instead of shunning you and when ‘you’ come around I will believe in you. So while I have learned to fear that you will never trust me I am hanging on for that chance.
I thought it might be the past – so I asked about 9/11.
I thought of other things, but all along it was just me – I hurt you – I’m sorry – so now I must wait until you can trust me again. I will hope for the day when you can jump into my arms – knowing all the while that I am trustworthy so that day could be tomorrow, in my mind. I wait then – I understand when you say to “wait on God” – you want to be sure about me – my pride is offended, but it does not change my course. I have been honest and true with you.
I couldn’t handle it before – I couldn’t see you go the same way that Melissa went. I didn’t know you well enough Sarah, Melissa was still on my mind.
But I am freer now, and I want to be with you. And the doors that were closed before (seemed closed anyway) are open now. Before, I saw Melissa in my mind and couldn’t see how you would not leave me too – I didn’t think that I could hold you tightly enough. But now I can – I am ready to sacrifice for closeness ( I know you won’t like that line – but I think you know what I mean). So I ask you to believe in me – But I wait for the Lord to make his plans known and to calm you heart and guide it.
Respectfully yours – Jared
My sleeping heart- too late for spring
the cold and dark of night
shadows, joyless shifting sands
this nightmare haunts my sight.
You know the man, you fear him too…
your spectre to you seems
to’ve slinked into reality
and laughed at you in dreams.
And now the day is crowing in
before- it was just night.
And now the joker calls your name
while your too weak to fight
he whispers sadly in your ear
when none are passing by,
but how his screams tear the wind
if anyone draws nigh.
My sleeping heart- awake for spring
I rise to find the Sun
has crowned a slender princess
with whom His light is one.
Two separate bodies
one shinning face-
the path back to the real
the way from here to grace.
Shafts of light fall silently
and dance upon the floor-
I shuddered as the spectre shrieked
her light had struck his core.
Peirced through the heart,
I saw him die-
I took her hand in mine…
and deepest night we do not fear
and never do we cry.
