Esprit de l'escalier

Ok, so maybe that’s not completely true…I mean, I could always go back to “the office”…blah! The sad thing is, as much fun as I had working at A&F, I feel it wouldn’t be right for me to go back and work there…even though I do have a check that I have to pick up…I’m too scared to go back.
You know what else is weird? I’m a spoiled brat…ok, so maybe that’s not really news to some of you, but right after my mom picked me up from the airport on Wed, she whips out her cell phone and calls the place she goes to have her nails done and she just casually books another spot and she takes me to go get a manicure and a pedicure! I was like whoa! That’s pretty cool, but I still felt really weird…well, number one because I hadn’t shaved my legs in a while and my ankles were all gross with blisters and stuff…but number two, because…honestly, how many people do you know that can just take you to get pampered like that right after picking you up from the airport?
My flight back this time wasn’t as interesting as my last flight. This time there were only 45 people on the plane. Totally empty! I was surprised because I thought since it was the holiday there would be more people, but I guess the rush doesn’t start until next weekend. I sat next to this guy who looked like Inspector Gadget. He acted like him too! He was smiling at me and leering like a creepy old man and asking me personal questions. It was just awkward and all I wanted to do was read my book! Last time I sat next to this guy who was my age and was studying to be a lawyer. He asked for my phone number and I gave him the number to my dorm room last year. Hehe. He was a nice guy and all…but I just don’t feel comfortable giving my number out to random guys. He tried giving me his number, but I was honest with him and I told him that I don’t call guys. This is true!
Anyways, this time around I made it through the airport loosing only $45 and another pocket knife. I forgot to take it off of my key ring. Grrrr…this is the second one! Honestly people, what am I going to do?! Poke somebody’s eye out!? And the $45 was because my suitcase was 7lbs over the limit. Now tell me this, why in the world do they make suitcases so big? It’s pointless; it just encourages people to bring more stuff. Most of what I had in my suitcase was Christmas presents. The people behind the counter looked at me like I was a priss who couldn’t leave home without bringing the whole bathroom and an entire store of shoes. It was rather frustrating, but you’d think I would have learned my lesson by now. Oh well.

So once again, coming home…I stroll in the door to find my house completely different. I walk into my room to find it loaded with boxes and so I slept in a sleeping bag my first night home because I couldn’t find the stuff for my bed, ha-ha. I spent all day Thursday unpacking the boxes and putting my room back together. It looks nice now with the new carpet and all. I was satisfied. Friday I cleaned and put together a guest room for Heather. She is staying with me because she had a wedding to go to today. She’s there right now; she borrowed my car to drive to Concord. We said a prayer to make sure she had a safe trip in this unruly weather.
Last night my parents had a party. My mom had been planning this party for a year! The house looks beautiful and she was beaming as everyone’s eyes grew wide as they walked in the front door. I wish I had pictures to post or the energy to describe my home. Perhaps another time.
While my parents had all of their friends over I decided it was only fair that I had some company of my own. So in addition to Heather I invited my best friend and Lance to hang out. It was so nice to see Lance again. I should add him to my list of notable men in my life. He’s the most thoughtful, good-hearted guy! He’s handsome too! He is considerate, fair and creative. Plus, there is not one person I can think of that doesn’t like him. He’s been a great friend of mine since sophomore year. We were both new-comers that year.
Well, now here I am…I sort of miss the bustle of Seattle school life. I miss the friends I left behind and the friendships I was building. I wish the stars would come out so I could go pray beneath them. I know you don’t have to wait until you see the stars to pray, but there is just something about a star sprinkled sky that brings God closer and inspires meaningful prayer. I have a bit of a sinking feeling in my stomach as though I left Seattle on bad terms with a friend or something. I’m not sure why I feel that way. Perhaps I just feel weird because I found out my older brother is getting married in August. This time he’s serious supposedly. ha-ha. But it’s true! My mom went to watch Heather try on wedding dresses today.
My goodness, my life is turning upside-down in a thousand ways. I’d like to think I was unique in my present state, but I know I can’t really complain because thousands have been here before. I think it’s that fact that sort of makes me sad. It’s like getting a car…it’s new to you, until you realize that a million other people had driven it before. It sucks the newness out of it. Sometimes when you are talking to someone and trying to explain things…you don’t want them to understand or say “Oh! I know how you feel! I’ve been there before.” Sometimes you just want them to listen, not relate.
Some people think that mankind gets overwhelmed because they are so self-centered and they haven’t the sight to look beyond themselves. Well, if anything I think my anxiety comes from thinking about everyone else. Or perhaps I just think too much. Who knows?