In one of those moods

I’m in one of those moods where I’m questioning my place in life. I know it’s probably (partially) due to the fact that I’m tired, over-worked, sore/injured and hungry…but still, it has me writing a post that I’ll probably take down in a couple hours.

Kyle sent me a job opportunity via email. No…I haven’t lost the job I have now…he just randomly started looking for me. The job I have now is fine, I’m learning a lot about stuff that doesn’t really apply at all to what I went to school for…but it pays the bills. It makes me a bit sad to think that I fell into that trap – the trap that they warned us about at graduation, “A large percentage of people graduate and take jobs that are outside their field…blah blah blah.”

The thing is, I feel like I’m too rusty to ever take a writing job again. I haven’t really written anything worth publishing in years. Granted I am still “young” and “trainable”, but with the economy the way it is, and with my interests the way they are…I doubt there is really a job out there that would both hold interest and provide a big enough pay check.

Side note: getting a house really messes with your priorities…a pay check didn’t really matter to me until we got a house and I actually needed to earn a certain amount of money. But it’s worth it. And our house looks awesome! We’ve come a long way.

I’m probably just having confidence issues…that must be it. I’ve grown comfortable in my routine (of not having a routine) and I’m afraid I won’t have the discipline or creativity to blossom in writing again.

Isn’t that ironic? I manage the critique groups for the Northwest Christian Writer’s Association, and yet I haven’t submitted anything for critique since I started. What kind of leader am I? I’m like an overweight PE teacher. “Run five laps kids while I sit here and eat my donut.”

Well, enough whining for now. Back to work. If you got this far, thanks for reading!

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2 Responses to “In one of those moods”

  1. danjor says:

    I like that phrase “like an overweight PE teacher.”
    Did you ever watch the British space comedy series Red Dwarf..? “I am Holly the ship’s computer with an IQ of 6000, the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers.

  2. sarahmadson says:

    Haha. No I haven’t seen that series. Sounds hilarious. Where would I find it?

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