Four years later and it still hurts
Yesterday I felt odd and almost uncomfortable all day. My brain was scattered and I couldn’t focus. I thought for a while that it was because some stupid football game was on instead of a long awaited tennis match between Agassi and Fedderer. That, I thought, is for sure the thing that is throwing off my whole day.
Later I considered the possibility that I was derailed by a lack of human contact. I’d gone all day without speaking to anyone in person. I don’t think this was it either because I’ve gone several days without human interaction before.
Then I thought maybe it was the nightmare and restless sleep I’d had the night before. I had a terrible dream that I was being attacked by some questionable hobos at a homeless shelter by Fisherman’s Warf in SF. They were coming at me with butter knives and I kept wondering as I was running, “Who on earth would give these people dinner knives?! We only serve potatoe soup on Tuesdays!” (And apparently I’d had a midnight snack in my sleep because I woke up that morning with the remnants of a bowl of applesauce that appeared mysteriously on the counter in the middle of the night.)
Finally, I wondered if maybe this madness wasn’t brought on by the sudden illness I’ve been battling on and off all week. I took some cold medicine. It’s the same stuff I’ve taken before but maybe I got a defunct batch or something? Whatever the case, it didn’t work very well because it still feels like I swallowed a piranah and its chewing on my throat.
It wasn’t until I had my quiet time that I confronted the real issue that was knawing on the back on my mind. It’s 9/11 and I didn’t want to be confronted with remembering that reality again. But there was no running from it. When I tried to run, my whole day was thrown off because I knew something didn’t feel right once upon a time that day four years ago. Is that weird or is it just me?
I’m still in the office. Back to work with me. *cracking whip*
