Hilarious!
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
>>> > > -Cora Harvey Armstrong
………………………………………..
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
>>> > > -Helen Hayes (at 73)
………………………………………………..
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
>>> > > -Janette Barber-
…………………………………………………..
Whoever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
>>> > > -Jan King-
…………………………………………………..
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
>>> > > -Lily Tomlin-
…………………………………………………..
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
>>> > > -Carrie Snow-
…………………………………………………..
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
>>> > > -Laurie Kuslansky-
…………………………………………………..
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
>>> > > -Erma Bombeck-
…………………………………………………..
Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
>>> > > -Bette Davis-
…………………………………………………..
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
>>> > > -Rhonda Hansome-
…………………………………………………..
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
>>> > > -Jane Sellman-
…………………………….
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
>>> > > -Jennifer Unlimited-
…………………………………………………..
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
>>> > > -Charlotte Whitton-
…………………………………………………..
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
>>> > > -Caryn Leschen-
…………………………………………………..
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
>>> > > -Jennifer Unlimited-
…………………………………………………..
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
>>> > > -Catherine Aird-
…………………………………………………..
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
>>> > > -Kathy Buckley-
……………………………
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb . . and I’m also not blonde.
>>> > > -Dolly Parton-
…………………………………………………..
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
>>> > > – Erica Jong-
…………………………….
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
>>> > > -Sue Grafton-
…………………………….
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
>>> > > -Roseanne Barr-
…………………………………………………..
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
>>> > > -Elayne Boosler-
…………………………………………………..
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
>>> > > -Maryon Pearson
……………………………………………..
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man –if you want anything done, ask a woman.
>>> > > -Margaret Thatcher-
…………………………………………………..
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
>>> > > -Gloria Steinem-
…………………………………………………..
I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
>>> > > -Marie Corelli-
…………………………………………………..
If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
>>> > > -Linda Ellerbee-
……………………………………………..
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
>>> > > Zsa Zsa Gabor-
…………………………………………………..
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
>>> > > -Eleanor Roosevelt-
heheheh those were great!